I went to my local self defense gym and asked if I can take 2 classes today. They said no

“You can taekwondo”

I went to a self defense course...

I still don't know many techniques I kendo to defend myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don’t urinate on people in self defense

You’re just going to make them more pissed

Did you know words can be used for self defense?

Its the art of talkwondo

I did a self defense course

I would't recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion

I've recently taken up a class in French Self Defense...

It's exhausting, I've never ran so far!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Jewish person learning self defense?

Jew Jitsu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My synagogue has started giving self defense classes.

They're teaching jew jitsu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dirtiest joke on The Tonight Show (SFW)

Alan King was on The Tonight Show and told Johnny Carson that he was going to tell the dirtiest joke ever told on network TV and the censors wouldn’t bleep a single word. This was many years ago, so I’ve likely changed a few minor details.

Jim was a successful stockbroker, but finally grew w...

A lawyer gets pulled over for speeding in Chicago

Lawyer: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Sir, you were speeding.

Lawyer: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see y our license please?

Lawyer: I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Lawyer: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.<...

Seeking Legal Advice

If you're 70 and your husband coughs and you shoot him...can you claim self defense?

\#covid-19

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I cannot believe all the people being charged with sexually abusing minors. Can’t the minors defend themselves?

After all, They have shovels and pickaxes. Can’t they use those in self defense?

What do you call a lawyer with a black belt in karate?

A self defense attorney!

What's the difference between Kung-Fu and Judo?

One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.