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Artificially Jokes

I became best friends with my artificially intelligent remote control quadcopter named "ROTOR".

He is my **pal** n **drone**.

My cow just got artificially inseminated.

No bull.

One cow says to another, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

The second cow replies, "No way, I don't believe you."

The first says, "It's true, no bull."

Why do Artificially Intelligent systems fear popcorn?

Kernel panic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Professor Stephen Hawking rolled into a fancy dress shop..

"Good morning." He said to the shopkeeper, in his famous robotic voice. "It's my science department's annual Dr Who fancy dress party tonight. Would you have a Tom Baker outfit for rental?"

"I'm sorry Mr Hawking." He replied. "I just rented the last one out yesterday."

"Oh dear." artif...

Yesterday night I was talking to my wife about euthanasia

I insisted that in case I become incapacitated in any way, I wish to be taken off all the equipment that keeps me artificially alive and left to die in peace.

She said ok and then stood up, turned off the TV and the computer and threw away the beer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move.

Convincing your girlfriend she's a robot with artificially implanted human emotions is called bladerunning.

It's a Phillip K. Dick move.

My heart is like a diamond

Cold, hard and has it's value artificially inflated because of a few select individuals

The pig farmer...

A pig farmer is trying to raise pigs and is attempting to get his female pigs pregnant to no avail. He calls a Vet and asks how can he tell if his pigs are pregnant. The Vet tells him he'll know when the pigs are pregnant when they stop standing and go lay in the mud, he also tells him he may have a...

There have been a lot of layoffs at work

So, to help with moral, our boss suggested a themed costume party at work. The theme he decided on was “feelings” and I got a big of smilie face costume.

I thought it was going to be lame but it was a huge success and a lot my co-workers got into it. Someone was a glowing red angry face, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

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