UPJOKE
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Coloured Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My black friend and I were in the library when he asked where the coloured printer was.

I said, "Shit, man, it's 2018. You can use whatever printer you want."

Someone just coloured in my entire Swiss flag red!

That’s a big red flag, and it certainly isn’t a big plus on my end

When you look at someone through rose coloured glasses

All the red flags just look like... well, flags...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cock is rainbow coloured

Tell your mum to stop changing her damn lipstick

Once a salesperson asked me, " Do you like dark coloured furniture, Can I show you some? "

I said: oaky

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

I found a street that was made of coloured pens.

I guess you could call it a yellow Bic road.

Dipping your beaks into different coloured paints, eh?

Well, toucans play at that game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know Prince Charles has a multi coloured penis?

He used to dip it in Di every night

What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 60 year old man was starting at a 17 year old teen, particularly his hair, on the bus.

The boy, who had just coloured his hair various shades started feeling uncomfortable by the old man's gaze.

Unable to take it anymore, the boy shouted - "What is it old man? Can't stomach when people do wild things?"

The old man replied - "I once fucked a peacock when I was a teen. Wo...

The Donald Trump Presidential Library burned down last week.

Sadly, both books were lost, and one of them had just barely been coloured in.

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.

I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

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