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Faux Jokes

What do you call a faux pas at a fondue party?

A fondon't

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad?

A faux pa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prime Minister's Wife Makes a Faux Pas

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and ...

Did you hear about the super model with IBS that committed a fashion faux pas?

Got runs in her stockings.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad

I’m a faux pa.

I made fake Vietnamese soup.

It was faux pho.

TIL FOX news was started by a Frenchman

Unfortunately, they had to americanize the name from FAUX news

Pierre never liked it when I called him my step dad...

So I now refer to him as my Faux Pas.

I waited in a really long line that turned out to be fake.

It was a giant faux queue.

I want a cartoon about puppies saving humans from making situations socially awkward

We can call it Faux Pas Patrol

I got in trouble for telling my step dad he’s not my real dad.

Guess he’s a faux pa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jet took off for the long flight from Sydney to Perth...

As it got to cruising height the pilot finished his spiel but forgot to turn the microphone off. He turned to his co-pilot and said: "You hold the plane while I take a massive dump, and then I'm going to screw that hostess".


Hearing this the hostess ran to the cockpit in order to tell t...

What do you call eating duck liver with the wrong fork?

A foie gras faux pas.

I saw a vegan with a lucky rabbits foot the other day.

I’m pretty sure that’s a faux paw.

The Truth About My Jokes

It has recently been brought to my attention that many of the jokes I tell my friends, family and peers can be classified as 'Dad jokes.' Moreover, it turns out that most of the people I share these with don't actually enjoy them, they've just given up on me stopping at this point.


Two ...

What do you give a three legged dog?

A faux paw

What do you call a group of guys who lie about telling funny dad jokes but aren't fathers themselves?

faux pas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys chatting in a pub......

First guy says, "I committed an embarrassing faux pas this morning. Stopped at the travel agent and the girl had fantastic breasts.I accidentally asked for two Titties to Toronto"

The other guy responds "I know the feeling mate. This morning I meant to ask my wife to pass the cornflakes and a...

PSA: Dad-jokes are reserved to be told actual fathers. If you don’t have kids of your own…

Telling a dad-joke would be a Faux Pa

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told to me by an immigrant friend who was a Drill Sargent in the Russian army in the '80s

A Sargent and a Private are walking across a Soviet army base when they approach a General coming the other way. The enlisted men salute and the Sargent calls out:

"Sir, your top shirt button is unbuttoned!" (A serious faux pas, according to my friend).

The General is in no mood for it...

I mistook another man for my dad and hugged him

...what a faux pa.

How does a socially inept cat walk away from conversation?

On his faux pas

You shouldn’t make fun of pets with artificial limbs.

It’s a faux paw

Why is it a bad idea to make an enemy of your father?

Because it is such a ~~faux pas~~ foe pa!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One ticket to Boobston

The year is 1993 a young upstart business executive has to take a quick trip to Boston for a board meeting.

Running late he didn't have time to have his administrative assistant call ahead and book his flight, so he decided just to do it himself once he got to the airport.

After being ...

Why can't mothers tell dad jokes?

It would be a faux-pa.

Dad jokes from my coworker that he won’t stop saying all day long...

I really hate when non dads say dad jokes. It’s such a faux-pa

We had a storm the other night and 25% of my roof flew away. Oof.

You know lance just isn’t as common of a name as it used to be. You know when it was? The Middle Ages. Guys were named lance a lot.

Why DIDN'T Snoop Dog need an umbrella?

Faux drizzle.

What do you call a Snoop Dogg impersonator?

Faux Shizzle

What do you call an imitation Limo driver?

A Faux-ffeur.

My wife asked me if I knew how to spot a fake beach

Faux shore

Why don't furries shake hands?

It's a faux paw.

A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”

Hair Club Salesman: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”

Bald Man: “How about faux dollars faux hair?”


Sorry guys, I’ll show myself outta hair.

What do you call a fake Willem Dafoe?

Willem DaFaux

An animal prosthetics expert walks into a bar

"What's wrong buddy?" The bartender asked. "You seem down."

"Two whiskies, please. I made a lot of Faux Paws at work today."

[OC] Why do rappers wear so much fake gold?

Faux show.

I must admit, my arch-nemesis did a good job impersonating me...

...Indeed, he was a worthy faux.

OC! A 3-legged dog walks into a bar; he’s wearing a prosthetic.

The bartender is obviously checking out his prosthesis.

“Oh that,” says the dog, “excuse the faux paw.”

That old woman in a fake fur coat who had ink thrown on her really had it coming!

Does she even know how many innocent fauxes have been murdered to make that coat?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple Americans walk into a bar in Ireland...

They're being loud and rowdy, real frat-boy types, and they're starting to get on everyone's nerves. After a while they go up to the bar and yell for the bartender.

"Hey bartender, gimme an Irish Car Bomb!" one says.

Now, you can probably guess it's a bit of a faux pas to order this mi...

There's this friend of mine who's really fake...

I can't tell if he's friend or faux.

A dinner guest made a joke about my cats prosthetic foot.

Major faux paw.

In retrospect, I'm embarrassed that I had a prosthetic leg made for my three-legged dog.

Faux paw.

A foot model was on his way to a competition whilst walking through a forest...

...He passed by a lumberjack who accidentally let go of his axe and ended up dismembering one of the model's precious digits.

Thinking quickly the lumberjack bandaged up the model's foot with some nearby foliage and helped the model limp to his event.

When they got there the on site do...

How many cows does it take to make a pleather bag?

About faux cows.

Once there was a man named Zade Zazinski...

Once there was a man named Zade Zazinski. Zade was always last for everything due to his name. Everything always seemed to run out before Zade received his portion. Schoolbooks, supplies, food rations. Disappointed, Zade joined the military out of high school thinking that he would be treated eq...

My dog is an amputee and his fake leg fell off while we were showing it to our friends.

It was quite the faux paw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a diner and orders a cup of coffee...

When the waitress sets the cup down in front of him, he notices that she's holding the cup in such a way that her thumb is literally *in* the liquid. Disgusted, but not wanting to cause a scene, he politely asks for a different cup and doesn't point out her faux pas. The waitress looks at him curiou...

What do you call a white guy trying to rap?

A faux shizzle my nizzle.

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

What do you call a picture of a prosthetic big toe?

A faux toe photo.

I had to get knee surgery the other day...

now my knee is a faux-knee

My stepfather, beating me black and blue, was no accident.

Just a terrible faux pa.

What's another name for a prosthetic patella?

Faux-knee

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