UPJOKE
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Saint Peter is seeing all of the new arrivals trying to go through the pearly gates in Heaven.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.

"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.

Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.I knew she was into so...
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An American and a Russian die and go to Hell... (Long)

They are met at the gates by Satan, who offers them a choice: They can either go to American Hell or Russian Hell.

Both new arrivals are curious as to what the difference is, so Satan explains that in American Hell you are free to do whatever you want; you'll find that we have all the finest...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

US Government furious at China for making Covid anal swabs mandatory for all foreign arrivals

If anyone's going to fuck our citizens, it's gonna be us! The US government!

Three new fathers, an Englishman, a Welshman and an Indian are looking at their newborn babies cribs in hospital.

All three babies are side by side and the fathers are congratulating each other on their new arrivals.

Just then, a nurse enters the room, looking quite flustered.
"I'm sorry" says the nurse " but we've lost the paperwork, and can't tell you whose baby is whose!"

The three fathers l...
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A nurse was walking through a maternity ward, checking on the new arrivals and their mothers..

She walked into the first room where a woman had hold of her precious newborn child with the face of an angel. She asked the mother what the name was, to which the mother replied,

"I called her Rose because when i was going into labour, a rose petal drifted in through the window and landed on...
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