Did you hear about the drummer who gave his daughters all the same name?

Anna 1
Anna 2
Anna 3
Anna 4

I wanna banana from earth.

It's Christmas time, and a little boy is sitting on the mall Santa's lap.

"And what do you want for Christmas?" Santa asks with a smile.

"I wanna banana from Earth." He says, looking a little annoyed.

Santa, somewhat confused, asks the boy. "From earth?"

"Yes" The boy ret...

"Diana!" I said greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door...

She said, "My name's Anna."

I said, "Yeah, I know."

Mary has a Master's degree in physical science. Each day, she asks, "Why does this work?"

Kevin has a Master's degree in mechanical engineering. Each day, he asks, "How does this work?"

Jack has a Master's degree in economics. Each day, he asks, "How much does this cost to manufacture?"

Joe has a Master's degree in chemistry. Each day, he asks, "Could this be hazardous to t...

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Anna is Still in Mourning

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago and her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immed...

So I'm at the nuclear missile facility and my boyfriend texts me "Hey Anna, wanna come over? ;)"

The general asks me for target coordinates for a missile launch so I do a search.

Using satellite imaging, I find the perfect spot and fire straight away.

Me: "General, we've launched a nuclear strike at these coordinates."

He looks at me in extreme confusion.

General: "W...

Anna asks her son John:

"John, would you say I'm pretty or ugly?"
"A bit of both, actually." replies the teenager.
"What do you mean by that?" asks the puzzled Anna.
"I'd say you're pretty ugly."

I don’t understand how in the movie Frozen, Anna didn’t know that Elsa had magical powers, even though she was locked in her room for years and refused to come out

After all, she was clearly giving Anna the cold shoulder

Whatever you do, don't buy anything from eBay seller xx_Anna_xx

My wife bought a crocodile skin handbag from her. When the bag arrived, turned out to be snake skin... Anna conned her.

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Anna Kournikova is approached by her agent with one last career option.

He explains that with her youthful looks behind her, her best option is to take a training shoe endorsement she has been offered. She'll only need to model the footwear from the legs down, and give them use of her name.

She's reluctant because years of top level tennis gave her leg muscles wh...

Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.

One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”

The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to ...

I used to date a girl called Anna Ward

She was a trophy girlfriend.

What do we get if Anna and Elsa are in a major car accident?

Frozen vegetables

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Anna Freud, asks Sigmund Freud

Anna Freud, before she became a great analyst, is in Vienna, at home with her father. The two of them are discussing psychoanalysis, when Anna turns to Freud and says "There is one thing I have always been meaning to ask that I am not sure about: What is the phallus?" Freud says "Well, this is somet...

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A russian man and his wife are into BDSM

A russian man, Vladislav, and his wife, Anna, are very into BDSM and roleplay and have very kinky sex every night. One night, when they are both particularly into it, Anna decides that she can't take much more. Only issue is, Anna can't remember the safeword. She starts telling her husband to stop, ...

A teacher asked her students: “when you go to heaven, which part of your spiritual body goes first?”

A teacher asked her students: “when you go to heaven, which part of your spiritual body goes first?”

Little Anna raised her finger.

“Yes Anna?”

“I think the hands go first”, she said.

“Why is that?”, asked the teacher.

“Because, when people pray, they raise thei...

TIL

Larry Birkhead actually procreated with Anna Nicole Smith, wasn’t just a random Birkenstock enthusiast.

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A fat man passes by a brothel..

... When he sees an advertisement sign stating "New weight loss program, free trial!". Interested in what it might be he enters. A beautiful nice receptionist welcomes him, when asked about the program she replies "In order to get started you've got to enter room one. It's a three day program, toda...

A woman who is a month pregnant falls into a deep coma. Three months after giving birth, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby...



Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?

Woman: Of course, the good news.

Doctor: You had twins, both girls, and they’re both fine. Luckily, your brother was here to name them.

Woman: Oh, that drummer... What did he name th...

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Twins

I told my friend that I have been fucking a couple of twins lately and the sex is AMAZING.

He was curious and asked " How do you tell them apart?"

"It's easy! Anna has a mole on her left butt cheek and Robert has a 9" cock."

Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week..

Anna: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.

Ben: That's impossible. Whose baby?
Anna: An elephant's.

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The maid went to the wife and asked for a pay rise.

The wife was very worried about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked, “Now Anna, why do you want more pay?”

Anna: “Well, Ma’am, there are three reasons why I wanna increase. The first reason is that I clean better than you.”

Wife: “Who said you clean better...

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One day, a nun falls pregnant.

One day at a Monastery, a nun discovers that she has somehow become pregnant. Horrified by this development, the Nun immediately runs to the head nun and explains to her what has happened.

'Mother Superior, I have terrible news," she tells her, "I have no good explanation for how it has happe...

On his Birthday, a man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him a happy birthday.....

....So as he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"



He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered.



In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful da...

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Once upon a time, there was a man named Really...

This man, though not exactly stunning, was so incredibly charming he could basically get whoever he wanted. Really, however, was particularly in the mood for sex once he turned 18 and turned to the apps to find a date to fulfill his needs.

He swiped right on a few chicks. Cary, Anna, Beth, J...

I changed my last name to 'Batman' the day before my wedding

My Father-in-Law didn't enjoy the wedding of Dan and Anna BATMAN.

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Worst Injury Imaginable

A South American guy gets into a terrible accident. When he comes to in the hospital, he looks down and sees a bloody rag covering his groin, and notices he can't feel his penis.

A doctor walks into his hospital room and the guy looks at him, and says, through tears "Give it to me straight, D...

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A man walks into a brothel

A poor man walks into a brothel, and tell the pimp in charge he only has $5 to spend. The pimp, thinks for a moment, and then sends him to the last door at the end of the corridor, to a woman named Anna.
Anna looks fine enough, so the man is a little confused as he was expecting far worse. In no ...

What do you name the male and female twin monkeys?

Abe and Anna

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Nun Shall Pass

The waiting line to get into heaven is managed by St. Peter.
A busload of Nuns die and are in line.

The first nun goes to St. Peter and he says
“OK I have to ask, have you ever seen a penis?”

The nun replies, “I saw one once.”

St. Peter said, “Well, it’s OK, just wash...

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Horse Names banned by the British Horse Racing Authority

Chit Hot

Chocolate Starfish

Choke the Chicken

Curl One Off

Dick Face

Harry Azzol

Harry Balls

Harry Monk

Hugh G Dildeaux

Hugh G Rection

Hugh Gass Kisser

Hugh Gorgy

Hugh Janus

Ima Hoare

Ima Goodlay
...

"Sorry, that name is already taken"

A lady tells to the nurse at the maternity hospital:
- I think I will call my little newborn Anna.
Doctor:
- Sorry, that name is already taken, but you can name her Anna532 or Anna_153.

What did the weeaboo Southerner name his daughter?

Anna May

My monkey...

Anna realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair." the girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister: "My monkey has grow...

I had a customer tonight with allergies [true story]

Rude Customer: Can you just make sure there's no nuts in my food? I can't eat nuts.
Me: Sure! My sister Anna can't eat nuts either. You might know her?
Customer: Oh?
Me: Anna-phallactic?
Customer: Oh.
Me: Just kidding, I don't have a sister.
Customer: Oh?
Me: She died. She ate s...

So a guy lies on his death bed.

An old man is on his death bed. His entire family is by his side. He asks his daughter "Anna, are you there?" His daughter Anna says "yes father im here." The man then asks " What about my son is he here?" His son says "yes im here." "What about my grandkids," the old man said, growing more raspy. "...

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