Ann Jokes - 71 Hilarious Ann Jokes

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I've never understood how the Nazis couldn't find where Anne Frank was hiding

I've been to Amsterdam... There are signs pointing to her house everywhere.

If Marie Antoinette, Anne Boleyn, Charles I, and Louis XVI formed a band, what would its name be?

The Talking Heads.

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Famed pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read would board ships with their tits out to distract and intimidate enemy sailors.

It had no effect on their own crew because pirates only care about booty.

William Shakespeare was married to a woman called Anne…

Anne hath a Will, Anne Hathaway.

What did Henry VIII say when Anne Boleyn cheated on him?

“So no head?”

Whats the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry survived the attic scene

My frien Ann and I played a board game

She wanted to play Quiz It, and got a rather interesting trivia question.

"Whom were the Dutch at war with from 1568 to 1648?"

"I don't know. It must have been a neighbour, because that makes sense. I guess it was the French."

"No sorry, it was the Spanish."

"The Spanish...

I met a lady named Ann Dashley.

She was named after her mother's favorite Olsen twin.

When Anne has a will...

Anne Hathaway

Too bad Anne Frank never watched Home Alone.

It could have been a real game changer.

Sister Ann Putting on Weight

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging belly. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit ba...

What did Raggedy Ann say

to Pinnochio?

Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie.

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What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection!

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The Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack.

Ann walks into the office, boss say's 'I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....'You better jack off, I've got a headache'.

Did you hear that Anne Heche had been working for a new start-up?

DoorBash. They guarantee to deliver your food straight into your house, piping-hot in 60 seconds or less.

Hello, I'm Amanda Laurie-Anne!

Mando: Hi. Me too.

What do you call Raggedy Ann lying face down in a gravel pit?

A dirty cotton rock sucker.

LeAnn Rimes put out a double CD - one was her greatest hits, and the other was her biggest flops.

It was the best of Rimes, it was the worst of Rimes.

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The lead actress in the local theatre production of the "Diary of Anne Frank" was so awful

That in the scene where the Nazi officer enters and shouts

" Where isth she ? "

"In the attic" shouted half of the audience

Why Anne Frank didn't finish her diary

**Concentration problems**

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Many people ask, “Was Anne Frank gay?”

Yeah, she was in the closet.

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Pornstar Lisa Ann has retired...

I wonder if she read her contract and realised she was getting screwed...

Anne is such a great actress.

You might say...she Hathaway with words.

There once was a girl named Ann Heuser

Who claimed no man could surprise her.

Till Pabst took a chance,

Found a Schlitz in her pants,

And now she is sadder Budweiser.

The three girls named Ann I am currently seeing are

Ann Visible, Ann Flatable, and Ann Job.

The Love Guru

What is Anne Franks favourite Anime?

Death Note

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and a Boy Scout?

A Boy Scout comes back from camp.

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

Q: Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toy pen?

A: Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's face saying, "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Ollie saw his mother naked one day

Ollie saw his mother naked one day and discovered that she didn’t have the same toolset down there that he did.

He asked his father about it and perhaps not being the best of fathers, his father answered: No she doesn’t have a pee-pee but sometimes I give her mine and she really likes it. ...

A catholic priest was praying Saint Anne.

The devil appears: ”Whazzzzup homie, why you pronounce my name so funny?”

I feel bad for Anne Frank

She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare!

And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

The Coronavirus is somewhat like The Diary of Anne Frank...

... but she had to stay inside to avoid Germans.

From the AnnCoulter AMA...

Dogs are better than people and I can prove it: Put your ex and your dog in the trunk of your car and drive around like crazy for an hour. Open the trunk. Who's happy to see you?

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber

My gf told me this joke, idk where she heard it

One day, a lady named Anne wanted to change her name...

One day, a lady named Anne decided she was bored of her name and wanted to change it to Penny-Anne. That's not what I would choose, I would do something cool like Proffeser Spider Ninja, but that's why I haven't changed my name. Anyway, changing your name can be like $200, and Anne didn't have a lot...

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[NSFW] My dick is like Anne Frank...

.... it's stowed away most of the time and only comes when German men are banging at my back door.

I don't know why everyone had such a hard time finding Anne Frank.

When I went to Amsterdam, there was literally signs all over the place telling me where her house is.

I went into Ann Summers and asked the girl if the underwear was satin.

She said "no, they're new."

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Layoffs

The boss has to lay off one person from his department and he's narrowed the choice down to Ann or Jack. First he invites Ann in.
The boss says "I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off"
"You better jack off, I've got a headache"

Anne Frank's famous last words.

Brb, door

Last night I had a nightmare that Ann Coulter died and came back to haunt me...

...she was a coultergeist

Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election

One says to the other: "Arrr matey, I'll give ye my clear glass eye if ye give me yer vote for captain tomorrow."

The other considers the proposal for a moment, then squeezes his fake wooden eye out of its socket, throws it overboard, spits on his hand and offers it to the first pirate.
...

What was the last line in Anne Frank's diary?

Just a moment, someone's knocking on the door..

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What's the difference between Ann Coulter and a bucket of shit?

The bucket.

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Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of.

Two years rent free.

A guy goes on a dating show where he has to whittle down 30 girls to 1.

After a few rounds he has reduced 30 down to 5. Ann, Kira, Gee, Beth and Kaitlin still remain.

"OK ladies and gentlemen, we have five contestants remaining", announces the presenter, "you have a tough choice to make. Which one of these lovely girls will you take home tonight?"

Theres ...

We attended a wedding this weekend for Bobby-Joe and Bobby-Ann. It was a beautiful wedding and it just goes to show that...

there’s somebobby for everybobby.

What did the drummer call his triplets?

Anna One, Anna Two, Anne Three

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A bus full of catholic school girls gets in a horrible accident.

Sadly all on the bus perished and are waiting in line at the pearly gates. St Peter approaches the first girl in line.

"Mary Margaret, I have one question for you, and it is of the utmost importance that you answer truthfully. Have you ever touched a penis?"

Mary blushed a little bit...

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After the war, Anne Frank went on to become a very successful farmer. She became famous for producing all sorts of goods including milk, cheese, and the most amazing butter.

It was the Dairy of Anne Frank.

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Wow, many people I meet work for the same person!

When I ask who they work for they tell me Ann Asshole.

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NSFW The National Anthem and a blowjob

While at lunch, Joe tells Phil that he hooked up with someone the previous night. Joe mentions that the woman he hooked up with (let's call her Ann) gave him some of the best head he's ever had. Curious about this amazing blowjob, Phil asks Joe what made it so special. Joe then says that Ann sang th...

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Group Therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "...

You know, I bet that actress from The Devil Wears Prada could do anything she puts her mind to.

Where Anne Hathawill,

Anne Hathaway.

Keeping with the spirit of all the international jokes, I present one of my favorite Ukrainian ones.

A Ukrainian man and a Russian man are out fishing when suddenly the Russian reels in a golden fish.
The fish looks at the men and says "Congratulations! You have caught me and know I shall grant you both three wishes."
The fish turns to the Russian man and says "Since you are the one who r...

An Irish Priest

An Irish Priest is Transferred to Iola, Texas.

He rose from his bed one morning; It was a fine spring day in his new West Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in ...

A man and his three beautiful daughters.

There once was a man living out in the countryside with his wife and his three beautiful daughters; Anne, Beth, and Claire. The man was very protective of his daughters, and when he learned that all three of them had fallen in love with three different men, he called the three men and said he wanted...

I might have to reconsider my kosher hot dog business...

For some reason Anne's Franks hasn't been very popular with the target audience.

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Nuns at the pearly gates

A group of nuns were in a coach, driving high up on a mountain, when all of a sudden the coach swerved off the road and went over the side of the mountain, crashing below and sadly killing everybody inside.

The nuns now found themselves waiting outside the pearly gates, which opened and showe...

I was helping my grandpa fold some laundry yesterday and noticed something odd. On one shirt he had a silloutte of Sherlock Holmes, on another a picture of Harry Potter, on a third was printed an image of Frankenstein, and on a fourth, a girl who appeared to be Anne of Green Gables.

I asked my grandpa, "Are all these graphic shirts really yours?"

"Yes they are, " my grandpa replied sheepishly "I just can't resist buying novel tees."

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A joke for the older generations

So there once was this women by the name of Marge, who could never seem to snag a man to stay by her side for more than a year! She had many husband and would bear many kids with each husband. By the end of her fertility period she had given birth to a 100 kids! In order to remember all their names ...

Holocaust jokes aren't funny

Anne frankly, they need to stop

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Baby Skunk.

Dave and his wife, Anne, were driving home one very cold night in Wisconsin, when Anne yells at him to stop the car. Anne jumps out and picks up a little bundle that was laying in the road. She brings it back to the car and it turns out it was a baby skunk. It was barely alive, but very cold.
...

What do you title a book about a Jewish girl brought back to life?

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein

I don’t like holocaust jokes

Anne Frankley I won’t stand for them

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Gadgets.

One day little Tim's teacher asked the class to bring a gadget from home and then each one would stand up in class and explain what it was.

Next day comes over and class begins.

First to go was Anne.

Teacher: What did you bring to class Anne?

Anne: I brought a kettle. I...

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Nuns are renovating their monastery.

Sister Anne and Sister Margateth were assigned to paint the inner halls of the chapel.

Sister Anne: "Dear sister, shouldn't we take off our clothes so they won't catch any paint?"

Sister Margareth: "This is a good idea. Since we are sisters, the Lord shouldn't mind us seeing each other...

Coulda been worse.

A father walks past his son's room and to his astonishment he sees that the bed is neatly made and the room is all tidied up.

Then he saw an envelope on the pillow.

It's addressed to "Dad".

He picked it up, tore it open and read the note:

"Dear Dad, it is with great regre...

[religion] Pat Robertson is on his way to buy some Depends.

As he's walking down the street, he sees a small boy sitting on the curb with a box of newborn kittens. He looks in the box of squirming, mewing kittens, and tells the boy "Those are about the cutest kittens I've ever seen!"

The boy smiles and says "Thanks! They're Christian kittens."

...

Who's the best hide and go seek player

Anne Frank

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