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Eva Jokes

Abe and Eva just aren't cutting it in bed...

Ok. My last joke bombed. BOMBED.

.

Ok. So Abe and Eva? They're not quite getting the ol' magical finale in bed as they used to. After so many years of marriage, Eva isn't cresting the mountaintop. This concerns the pair of them, so they decide to visit their Rabbi for advice.

....

I know a great joke about Eva Braun wedding night

...but it can leave a bitter taste in your mouth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Eva Braun dislike giving Hitler blowjobs?

Because he left a Nazi taste in her mouth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler?

He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches.

Don and his friend Eva we’re exploring caves in the town of Level for our palindrome school project

Eva said there were many things they could not do in caves. Don asked her a question using his knowledge from palindrome school. Don said, “Eva can I stab bats in a cave”. She said “no don”. Don then said, “Eva can I pose as aesop in a cave”. She again said, “no don”.

Good News Bad News

Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least. After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable. Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad new...

Breaking news

Vladymir Putin will marry his girlfriend Eva on April 28th in a private ceremony underneath the Kremlin. A policy change is expected soon after.

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De...

There are dedicated detectives who investigate especially heinous crimes as members of an elite squad known as the SVU. This is one of their less successful stories...

In a stake-out operation at a local bar, an undercover SVU officer was approached by Eva, an exotic dancer, who offered him a private lap dance in the back room. Within seconds, before starting her routine, she was arrested and charged with solicitation.

Later at trial, her defence lawyer i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gods decided to create trees...

The land was barren with nothing but muddy ground, rock formations, some small creatures and a pair of humans. So the Gods decided to create 2 trees to live as partners. The female tree was named Eva and the male Lee. As all other forms of life around, the trees were naked.

Eva was not conten...

Man to very beautiful airhostess:-

"What's your name?"

Air hostess:- "Eva Benz.."

Man :- "Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"

Air hostess:- (smiling) "maintenance cost is same" :D

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler might have been the brains behind the evil Nazi regime..

But Eva was the Braun.

Which actress stays consistent, especially in the winter time?

Eva Green

Two gifts to Adam and Eve

When God was almost done creating Adam and Eve he said to them: "Alright I am almost done with you. I have two more gifts I can give you"

Adam and Eve go "what is it?"
God "the first one is the gift of peeing while standing upright..." Adam interrupts "Pick me me me!!! I want to pee standi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tess is sleeping during class

The teacher asks her a question. ''Tess, can you tell us who made the earth?'' The boy behind her stabs her in her butt with a pencil. ''God almighty!'' Tess screams. ''Good job!'' Says the teacher.
A couple of days later, she's sleeping again during the same class. The same teacher asks her ''Te...

Bob, a Neanderthal furniture craftsman, lugs his latest stone creation into Harry’s store.

Harry is the proud owner of Pleistocene Man Home, a thriving home goods and flint cave.

Bob, still breathing heavily from his labor, says to Harry, “Here new chair. Soft slate. No crack. Has club holder.

Harry is impressed. “Good chair! Better than chair you make for Doug”

“W...

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