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Airbag Jokes

Wife: "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Husband: "The good news."

Wife: "The good news is that your car's airbag worked perfectly."

Why are airbags so expensive?

Because of inflation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

When driving my dad is like an airbag.

If I make a mistake he's all up in my face.

Volvo has Thor’s Hammer Daytime Running Lights. For 2021, Lexus introduces Nagasaki Airbags...

You won’t even feel the impact.

Dad there is something my boyfriend told me, that I didn't understand. He said that "I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."

"Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking from his exhaust pipe."

All of our workers have airbags in their monitor

So it will protect them when their computers crash.

Airbags are srs business

....anyone?

Chuck Norris once got into a car accident

The airbags saved his car

A married couple is driving...

down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him. "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce." The husband says nothing, but slowly turns up to speed to 60 mph.

"I don't want you to talk me out of it, because I've been hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife are in a car accident.

The man is saved by the airbag, but the woman hits her head on the windshield and falls into a coma.

The man sits in the hospital waiting room day and night, praying for his wife to recover.

One day, while giving the wife a sponge bath, the nursing staff notices, when they wash her "pr...

A couple is driving on a highway

A couple is driving on a highway when she says, “I want a divorce.” The man doesn’t say anything, except speeds up the car.

“I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he’s a better lover than you.” The man doesn’t say anything except speeds up to he car.

“I want the house...

My friend told me that he had a good news and a bad news.

I said “Just tell me the good news”

“Your car’s airbag works perfectly.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kind of a long joke, but it is my personal favorite to tell. I hope you all like it.

A husband and wife are driving on the highway when suddenly the wife turns to her husband and says

"I want a divorce."

The man says nothing only speeds up slightly.

"Not only do I want a divorce but I'm taking the house, the car, the bank accounts, the kids, and the credit cards...

A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident...

A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident at an intersection. They get out of their cars and find that neither is hurt, which is surprising because it was a horrible accident. The cars are a mangled mess.

The priest says to the rabbi, "Thank the lord that we are both uninjured! That was *...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This one is long

So a couple are driving down a road and the wife says,”I want a divorce”

The man keeps driving

The wife continues,”Your a great guy, but I have been cheating on you”

The man is silent

The wife gets mad and says,”Do you have anything to say!?”

The man says,”Nope, ...

A woman calls her husband at work to share some news.

“I’m kind of busy right now, babe, can’t it wait until I get home?”



“Not really,” she replies. “I’ve just got to share some good news and some bad news.”



“All right,” he replies, playing along. “I’m in a rush, so just give me the good news.”



“Well,” she s...

"well darling,I've a good news and bad news for you "

"ok, tell me the good news first".

"Well,the airbags in your car worked perfectly".

"Wait...what ?"

A man and his wife were driving along a road...

(reposted due to an error in the title hahah)

The wife says "I know we've been married for five years, but I want a divorce."

The man speeds up slowly.

The wife opens her mouth again. "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, I've been having an affair with your best friend...

Anything can be comic and anything can be tragic -- that's my big point right there.

I don't think anybody in this room thinks it's funny when a child is decapitated by an airbag. But wouldn't it be a little bit funny if, for 15 minutes before that, the kid was going, 'Mommy, I want a balloon! Get me a balloon! Mommy, I want a balloon!'

KP Anderson

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Microsoft made cars.

Disclaimer: This Joke was made in the 1990's in response to comments that if the automobile industry kept pace with Silicone Valley cars would be much more advanced. The origin is the Mid 1990's
However at close retrospect some of this now happens.





At a computer expo (...

The French Test Drive

An American couple took their honeymoon in France, and they loved it so much they decided they just had to live there. But the costly move left them in financial hardship. Eventually, they did both find jobs, but on opposite ends of the city, so they decided to buy a car.

"This one," said the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A difficult marriage.

A husband and wife were having marital struggles due to constant disagreements and an imbalance in responsibilities. The husband would come home from work and yell at his wife for not having dinner ready. The wife would yell at the husband for ignoring all the cleaning she's done when he tracked his...

I AM NOT "HAPPY"!

So last week I'm driving in town and a large SUV decides to stop abruptly on a yellow light. I was forced to slam on my brakes and still could not avoid slamming into the SUV. With the airbag in my face and two brand new black eyes, I manage to open the door and step out of my vehicle. I see the dri...

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