Do you know what's on pages 5 and 6 of an Opel manual?

Bus and train schedules.

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So three close friends pass away and all go to heaven.

The angel welcomes them and shows them around.

At the end of the tour angel tells them:

\- "Since the heaven is huge you guys need car, so that you could easily travel around. So, the criteria for getting the car is like this: - I ask you a question and you give me a honest answer"...

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The Purple Spotted Penis

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen...

Two men go to heaven

And they are greeted by Jesus, who asks how many times the men have committed adultery

"Once" says the first man, and is given a Fiat
"Twice" says the second man, and is given Opel

After not long drive, the second man finds the other sobbing

"What's wrong", he asks

"O...

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A man is pulled over by a cop for speeding

The cop, however, is a riddle lover and tells the man that he would be free to go without a ticket if he solved his riddle correctly.
The man accepted, and the cop told him: "you're on a dark road, late in the evening. On the opposite side you see two lights coming towards you. What is it?"
...

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