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Cravings Jokes

A mom takes her daughter to the doctor

The doctor says, “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”


The mother says, “It’s my daughter Suzie. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”


The doctor gives Suzie a good examination, and then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’...

Since when does screaming helps with sugars cravings? Because I asked many people about their way of stopping sugar cravings and each one of them said...

Ice cream.

Pregnancy Cravings...

My parents were recently discussing my pregnant cousin, who has been craving ice cream throughout here pregnancy, so I thought I'd ask my mother what she craved through her pregnancy.

"An abortion" wasn't the answer I was expecting.

What do you call the leader of the Cravings Tribe?

The "Hanker"chief

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's wife was heavily pregnant

A man's wife was heavily pregnant and had started to get a lot of weird food cravings. One afternoon she said to her husband "I'm really peckish and would love some escargot(a meal made from snails)... Can you run down to the store and pick up some snails for me?"

The man dutifully agrees and...

My favorite ice cream flavor is Death By Chocolate...

Because it satisfies two cravings at once

I once knew a vampire who refused to drink blood

He would satisfy his cravings with fake blood, which his body rejected and he ended up dying from it.

I asked him on his death bed how the fake blood tasted and he said "a little irony"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Voodoo Dildo

A man is about to go abroad on a business trip, but he is worried about his wife cheating on her because she is has strong sexual cravings and has been known to be promiscuous in the past.

The man decides to go to an adult store to find her a sex toy to satiate her desires, and finds himself ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

True story.

You ever pass wind and it does not smell like you would expect? I an driving to work one day and fart and to my surprise it smelled exactly like a whopper with cheese. At first I was a little amused but then the cravings hit. I skipped breakfast and all morning long I can only think about lunch and ...

An elderly couple have been married for 60 years.

One day, out of the blue, the husband announces to his wife, “After living for so long and observing so much, I have decided that men have it worse in this world.”

The wife is clearly upset by his comment, and asks him to elaborate. So the husband continues, “Women start having periods during...

Come on guys. We're almost there.

A guy's wife in pregnant and getting cravings for unusual foods. One day she decides she just has to have snails and sends him to the store to get some. He goes downtown to the fancy seafood store and buys a bunch of live snails for making escargot. They put the snails in a paper bag and tell him to...

A Rabbit with a Texan accent hops into a sandwich bar

One day, a rabbit with a strong Texan accent hops his way into a five-star sandwich bar well-known for it's fantastic toasties. He goes up to the vendor, who asks:

"What will you having, sir?"

To which the rabbit replies,

"Ah will be havin' one of your finest cheese an' onion t...

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