UPJOKE
imbibesucktake inassimilatetake upconsumeimmerseplungeengrossingestsuck upoccupyengulfengagereceive

Absorbing Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cardboard is a lot like 1-ply toilet paper. It's not really good at absorbing,

But it's really good at moving shit around.

Scientists in Germany Have Discovered a New Particle That Can Only Exist By Absorbing Joy

It's no laughing matter

Apparently designer Depends are a thing...

The SkidMarc-Anthonys are absorbing a lot of market share.

I read a book about sponges,

it was very absorbing

What's the difference between a car's rear bumper and a Facebook page?

One is a terrible place to express complex political opinion, and the other protects the rear of a car by absorbing shock in the event of an accident.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just finished reading a book on the history of tampons.

Very absorbing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis



Subject: Women



Symbol: Wo



Discovered by: Adam



Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.


Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adult store

Bob started his first day at the adult store. Half way thru the day he felt comfortable and was absorbing everything the store owner is teaching him.

Then the store owner gets an emergency store and has to leave. He tells Bob "I have to leave do you want me to close the store or can you ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad . Can you help?”

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

“Honey,” I ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.