A group of blondes are chanting "31 days" in a bar...

so after awhile the bartender gets curious and asks one of the blondes "why are you ladies chanting 31 days?". The group parts and the blonde responds "you see this puzzle here?? we finished it in 31 days! and the box says 2-4 years"

Why are soldiers so tired at the beginning of April?

They just had a 31 day March.

Three dumb blondes walk into a bar carrying a jigsaw puzzle.

They begin chanting "31 days! 31 days!" as they enter the bar. Confused, the bartender asks them what they mean.

"Well," One of them says, "the box of this puzzle said '5 to 8 years' but we finished it in 31 days!"

Tomorrow I get to celebrate my girlfriend's birthday!

And in 31 days I get to stop celebrating my girlfriend's birthday!

My wife isn't speaking to me.

A man walks into a bar,looking all bummed out, and orders a drink. After a few minutes he orders another. About thirty minutes later he orders a few more drinks.
The bartenders asks," Dude you look really depressed. Is everything okay?"
The man explains," My wife and I got into big fight. Sh...

My doctor gave me a month to live.

I said, "Well, which month is it? My wife's birthday's in 31 days and I need to know if it's worth buying a present."

just got a new job and was to start today

Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhauste...

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