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April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

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My best April Fools

A long time ago, before work, I drove through the shittiest neighborhood I could find, looking for broken auto glass. I found a pile from some unfortunate soul that had their car broken into and scooped it all up.

After settling in at work, I asked to borrow my boss's keys for access to the s...

My colleagues took April Fools Day pretty seriously this year

Over a month and a half of going into the office and they're all still hiding from me

I played an April Fool's joke on my parkour team this morning.

They all fell for it.

Which monster loves April Fools jokes

Pranken-stein!

April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.

We're sorry to announce that April fools has been postponed.

Due to the recent coronavirus crisis, April fools has been postponed to May 1st, 2020.
Thanks for your cooperation.

I have an April fools joke going on with my landlord

I am not paying rent this April 1st hehe, don't tell him

April Fools!

girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

Tee Pee a House on, April Fool's, 2020

Wouldn’t today, April Fool’s Day, 2020, be the best time to TeePee someone’s house?

The neighborhood will clean it up in four minutes.

In honor of the eve of April Fools Day... just remember that tomorrow you need to be cautious of many tweets and news reports because most of them will be lies and simply there to try and trick you. Believe nothing, and trust no one.

Just treat it like it's any other day.



Have fun!

April Fool’s Day has been POSTPONED.

I’ll tell you the new date tomorrow.

I just thought of the ultimate April Fool's Prank. Let me spell it out for you.

I T O U T F O R Y O U

April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.

What did the first person to get "April Fooled" say?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools

Just another day in the office.

Doctors have the most fun on April Fools.

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."


Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."

What was the worst april fools day joke?

Well logan paul was born in 1995.

The last time Easter fell on April Fool’s Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

I think the Stimulus Package is a sick April Fools joke.

It’s a Stimu-LIE!!!

What's the worst part about April Fools?

Jokes without punchlines

Today is April Fools day so question everything and trust no one.

Basically...it's reddit day.

As an April fools joke, I told my SO that I was pregnant...

...sadly she didn't fall for it.

Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

Forgot it's April fool's!

What's the simplest way to really quickly get some friends so I can prank them?

April fools in Latvia

Latvian ask friend if he want potato for lunch. Friend guess is April Fool joke. Say "Too easy, never potato in Latvia, only sadness." One man starve to death during lunch.

My mom told me she hated me today

She forgot to say April Fools

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

A woman has just given birth to her child.

The doctor holds the newborn child at both feet, upside down, then slams it three times on the wall. The mother is shocked! The doctor consoles: «April fools! Was already dead!»

The best time to propose is on April 1st...

If they say no you can yell April fools!

My dad still hasn’t come back yet

I’m starting to think it wasn’t an April fools joke

I finally switched from Internet Explorer to Chrome!

Just kidding, happy April fools day!

April Showers bring May Flowers

But did you know that March Tools bring April Fools?

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Billy's mom comes home. "Billy, what's wrong?" -"Dad hanged himself in the attic!" he said in tears.

The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.
As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling.
HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!"

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

Alright 2020, you’ve had your fun.

Now say ‘April fools’ and let us get back to our lives, yeah?

Timmy's April Fool's joke

The day is April 1st, and Timmy wanted to play an April Fool's joke on his mom.
His mom comes home from work, and Timmy rushes to her.

"Mommy! Mommy!" He says, frantically.

"What is it, Timmy?" She asks.

"Dad hanged himself in the garage!"

The mom screams, then rushes...

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April Fool's!

A woman goés into labor éarly and is rushéd to thé hospital. Aftér an agonizing night, shé finally givés birth, and thé doctor doés thé littlé pat on thé baby liké hé normally doés to stimulaté air flow. Thén hé tossés thé baby in thé air liké a pizza, and grabs it by thé légs and slams it into thé ...

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A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

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What is the difference between my wife and my vacuum?

The vacuum doesn't snore after sex.



April fools, I don't have a wife.

Parents should wake their kids up early tomorrow and tell them to get ready for school because coronavirus was canceled

April Fool's

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Grandma in Court

**Defense Attorney:**
Will you please state your age?

**Little Old Lady:**
I am **94** years old.

**Defense Attorney:**
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of **April 1st?**

**Little Old Lady:**
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my fr...

Today is the day many people will confess to their crushes

And say it was an April fool's joke when they get rejected

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

A lady goes into labour and is rushed to the hospital

She is in labour for hours and the birth is excruciating but eventually the baby comes out. The doctor taps the baby's bottom to get it to cry but nothing happens. The doctor then uses a little more force and smacks the baby's bottom harder but still nothing. The mother is getting extremely worried....

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A woman is going through labor on April 1st

Her husband is driving her to the hospital and when they get to their room, he tells the doctor that he can’t watch up close but he asks if he can stand and watch outside the window. The doctor agrees.

As the baby comes out, the husband gets excited as he sees his new child. The doctor grabs ...

A woman is giving birth to her child

And finally, after much effort and pain, the doctor manages to help deliver the baby. The Doctor then proceeds to chuck the baby out of the window.

W: "Why? Why did you do that to my poor baby, you monster?"

The Doctor laughs maniacally and replies "April Fool's! He was already dead."

The Darkest Joke I Know

A boy is blind from the day he is born, Never knowing his mothers face never knowing colors and never knowing anything except what he can feel, smell, hear, or touch.

One night the boy is in his bedroom when his mother comes in and sits down on the bed beside him, she says "Sweetie I have som...

Today my wife told me she's pregnant because of the mailman

"Really?" I asked her.



"No, April Fools!" she replied, "I got an abortion".

Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"

There was this little 9 year old blind kid, and one day he said to his mom, "Mom, All I've ever wanted was to see."

His mom said, "Well son it's your lucky day, today is the last day of March, and if you pray your hardest,your prayers will be answered."

So the little boy goes to bed 2 hours early and starts praying himself to sleep.

He wakes up half way through the night and realises that the night...

Little Jonny was 5 years old and born blind

Little Jonny was 5 years old and born blind. One evening as his mother puts him to bed she says to him, "Jonny, tomorrow is a very special day: if you pray extra hard tonight God will grant you the miracle of sight". Super excited, Jonny jumps back out of bed, clasps his hands together and begin to ...

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Let us celebrate the birthday of Logan Paul!

april fools you piece of shit

Girlfriend to boyfriend

GF - I'm sorry babe but i've cheated on you.

BF - I'm sorry aswell, I have also cheated on you.

GF - April fools day!

BF - Mine was on 24th March

A woman successful gives birth to a baby after several hours of labour. The doctor takes the baby and leaves to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly behind to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against the wall.

The woman screams, "OH MY God! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY Baby!?" To which the doctor replies, " April fools! It was already dead!"

I think my calendar is broken...

Haha, April Fools!
It works just fine.

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MOM! Dad hung himself in the attic.

April fools! He hung himself in the basement.

James Bond is going to be played by a woman

As a woman, James Bond's name will be Fools, April Fools.

"mom, dad, I have something important to tell you: I'm straight"

Parents: "You do realize we just assume you're straight until you tell us otherwise, yes?"

Child: "HA! Got you! April fools!"

Girlfriend said "I think I'm pregnant, I'm two weeks late..

..April fools!"

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Mum, father hanged himself!

A little boy runs to his mum crying: "Mum, Mum", he screams, "Father hanged himself!"
"Where is he hanging?", his mum asks.
"In the attic!", the boy says.
So the mum and her son go to the attic but nobody's there.
"But he isn't there", says the mum in relief.
Then her son says: "April...

"Sir, I'm gonna' let you off with a warning..."

"THANK YOU SO MUCH OFFIC----"

"April Fools....sign here."

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A couple is expecting their first born child...

It's a beautiful spring day and the mother is sleeping after a long delivery. The doctor walks in holding the baby and announces that it's a baby boy.

The father asks, "Can I hold him?" and the doctor replies "Of course, but I have to run a few tests first, its routine you understand".
<...

There was once a little blind girl...

... and more then anything in the world she wanted to be able to see again. "Mummy Mummy!" she would say, "when will i be able to see again?"and her mother would reply "well my darling, there are doctors working at this very instant on a cream which will make your eyes all better again! And we can g...

Mommy mommy! Daddy hanged himself in the living room!

*mom rushes to the living room*

Kid: Haha! April fools! He did it in the attic!

In the spirit of Easter, I've hidden eggs around the appartment.

In the spirit of April Fools, I'm not telling my roommates.

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My Dad being an asshole to an 8 year old

Best April Fools Day joke; i was like 7 or 8, my dad and I are talking trash all of March 31st about who is gonna prank who better. Morning of april 1st my dad wakes me up and rushes me into the shower, has me change my clothes, and eat breakfast. As I'm about to head out to the bus stop I noticed i...

Trump is President of the United States and Britain left the EU.

APRIL FOOLS'!

Ah...wait...

[OC] I am pretty good at keeping up with which date it is

April Fools!

Some Roman soldiers are sitting in a bar, exchanging stories

One of the soldiers tell the others:
"I had the easiest shift the other night, just had to make sure this dead guy didn't crawl out of his tomb- slept through the whole thing."
As the soldier finishes, Jesus walks into the bar.
"April fool's"

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I just lost my virginity!!!!

April fools *sob*

After the operation, there was good news and bad news...

"Give me the bad news first, doc."

"The surgery was a complete success, and you are expected to make a full recovery."

"Wait, then what's the good news?"

"It's April Fool's Day."

Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter!

April Fools!

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