127 Jokes - 17 Hilarious 127 Jokes

If you watch 127 Hours backwards

It's the uplifting story of an amputee finding an arm in the desert.

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The average person has sex 127 times a year.

My december is going to be fucking awesome

How do you get 127 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

You say "hey everyone it's time to get out of the pool now"

Everyone talks about how good James Franco was in 127 hours..

But no one ever gives any credit to The Rock.

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

99 bugs in the code...

99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code!
Take one down, patch it around.
127 bugs in the code.

A truck filled with 127 penguins breaks down on the highway...

The truck driver flags down a passing car and asks the driver if he'll take the penguins to the zoo. The driver agrees, and the penguins pile into the car.

A couple hours later, the truck is fixed, and the truck driver goes to the zoo to make sure the 127 penguins arrived, but they're nowhere...

A little computer humor

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

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A woman has just lost a bunch of weight through diet pills and is at the department store buying new clothes.

A woman has just lost a bunch of weight through diet pills and is at the department store buying new clothes. As she's trying on clothes, she proudly announces to the person at the fitting room "I'm buying new dresses because I just lost a bunch of weight, guess how much I weigh now!" The employee ...

How many Stanley Kubricks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but it takes 127 takes.

There are 10000000 people in a room

1 of them understands binary and the other 127 don't.

Mile High Club

Airplane pilot comes on the intercom and says "folks, to save the lives of the other 127 people on this plane, 3 of you will have to jump."

Everyone looks around and finally a Frenchman stands up and says "in the name of France, I'll jump. Viva la France!" And he jumps out of the plane.
...

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Retiring from the British Army can be complicated. (Long)

Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long fulfilling career. On the day that he retired he received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and, in particular, the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, (based upon...

Troll Granny

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you h...

The number kingdom

An evil king, named 121, ruled over his kingdom with an iron fist. He demanded taxation of all his people, each week every family would bring him 2. And each week his strength grew. From 121 to 123, 123 to 125, 127, 129, all the way to 2057183, until he was the strongest in the land. Until one week,...

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What does it mean to give more than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give
over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answ...

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It is the year 2200

In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

On...

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