What kind of workouts did Jesus do?

Cross-fit

The young male race horse came from a long line of winners and did wonderfully in workouts. In actual races, however, he proved a little too romantic, and could never quite bring himself to pass a mare. So one day the trainer went to him and told him he'd have to be neutered.

The young horse, knowing that it was either this or the glue factory, took it philosophically. After all, having the operation was almost a certain guarantee of a long and illustrious racing career. After a short recovery period, the horse was again run in workouts, and found to do as well as ever.<...

A high-school girls soccer team hires a new coach, Coach Bill. When Coach Bill is hired the girls are in last place.

Coach Bill starts a whole new regimen for practices, including new workouts, new drills and after 2 weeks of this he introduces a new herbal supplement he asks the girls to start taking daily.

A week later the girls win their first game of the season. Then another one, and another one... In f...

When it comes to choosing between weight lifting or cardio workouts, I always choose cardio.

Cause it helps me in the long run ;)

Workouts.

My new gym is really awesome.

Been here just two months, and I have already lost 2000 pounds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"You need to stop doing chest workouts, it looks like you have boobs," said my wife.

"That makes one of us then," I replied.

What kind of workouts does Ned Flanders do?

Diddlysquats

What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?

Abstinence.

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Little Johnny

Little Johnny goes to the gym one day where he over hears a man on a tread mill talking about how workouts are a real pain in the ass. Little Johnny asks the man what that means, the man replies with “ oh it is just an add on used to give something more meaning”

So later that day Johnny goes...

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3 guys show up at heaven at the same time...

... St. Peter is at the gate, and informs the first one in line that, because heaven has exceeded its quota for the month, under direct orders from the man himself, he is to let in only those that have died untimely or unfortunate deaths.

Understanding this, the first guy begins to tell his ...

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