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Retirees Jokes

Who Says Retirees are not Naughty

One Retirees group decided to meet over lunch.

All 15 of them met and had good food, drinks and dessert. Then the bill arrived. All 15 of them rushed to grab the bill for payment. There was a scene with everyone fighting to take the bill.

The Hotel Manager saw this and appreciated the...

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Retirees Having Fun

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their
days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, my wife and I went
into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing
out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on, man, how
ab...

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Old golf joke (longish)

One I haven't seen here:

Two retirees, George and Sam, have been playing golf every Saturday for decades. Always the same time, same course. They leave their houses at 10 AM, get home at 3 PM.

One Saturday, Sam isn't home at 3 ... nor 4 ... 4:30. Finally at around five he staggers in, ...

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day....

One remarked, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday..."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

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Got a new jpb

After landing my new job as a Walmart “Greeter - a good find for many retirees. I lasted less than a day . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. ...

Two guys are walking down the street in Florida and they see a sign outside a bar that says "10 cent Martinis" and they decide to go in. They don't believe it, but decide to order anyway. The bartender makes two large Belvedere martinis with blue cheese olives and says "That will be 20 cents."

The two guys can't believe it, but drink up and order again. While the bartender is making the drinks, they ask him "How can you afford to do this?" The bartender responds, "I always wanted to own a bar where people could drink cheaply and then I won the lottery." One of the patrons responded, "That...

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Being accepted into the Baptist church requires a tough test.

The minister meets with three married couples who want to join the Baptist Church. The first couple are retirees from Florida, the second couple are in their early 40s, and the last couple are newlyweds, having been married only 3 weeks. "We have developed a small test for those who want to join, I'...

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland.

On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.

The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.

As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.

She said, "T...

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