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A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he is working in.

The intern walks past a room where a man is vigorously
masturbating nonstop. The intern asks the doctor giving the tour
why that man was doing such a thing out in the open.

The doctor says:"Oh, he has a medical condition where sperm builds up so quickly in his body, he has to masturbate...

Do you know the definition of ignorance?

Two guys digging a ditch were doing their ditch digging thing, when one of them looks over at the supervisor sitting under a tree in the shade. The one guy says to the other, "Man, it isn't fair for us to be working so hard in the hot sun, while Mr. Supervisor is sitting doing nothing on the shade....

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My late Grandfathers favorite joke

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and u...

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A man is lined up to putt on the 8th hole with some friends

Out of nowhere a ball comes flying in and hits him. The man doubles over cursing and clutching his hands tightly to his crotch. His friends giggle at his misfortune as a woman comes running over apologizing.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry. I didn't see you gentleman when I teed off!"

T...

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A family was at an amusement park.

When the young daughter got tired, her dad put her up on his shoulders. But then she started picking at his hair. Wincing, her dad said, “If you keep pulling my hair, you’re going to have to get down off my shoulders.”

“But Dad,” the kid replied, “I’m just trying to get my gum back.”

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The Three Challenges

**TL;DR:** Jokes don't have TL;DRs.

A man named Andrew walks into a bar, makes his way to the stool and asks the bartender for some Whiskey, on the rocks.

As the bartender serves Andrew his order, his eyes fall on a relatively large jar of money filled with $100 bills. He gets curious...

Sperm Bank...

At a sperm bank one day, a man walks up with a ski mask and a gun. He points the gun at the lady at the desk. "Sir.. this is a sperm bank.." says the lady. "I know. Get out three bottles of sperm" he commanded. So she obeys and takes out three bottles of frozen sperm. "Drink it." says the man.
...

A blonde goes to a doctor

She says “Doctor, my body hurts wherever I touch it!” The Doctor says “show me”. The blonde proceeds to tap her face, elbow, thigh and knee, wincing in pain after each one. “See, it’s true!” She says. The doctor pauses for a second, sighs and says
“You have...

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In honor of Fathers Day, my dad's favorite joke

An Indian goes to the dentist to get a root canal. The dentist asks if the Indian would like any gas.

"No." reply's the Indian. "This will be nothing. I have already felt the worst pain possible and survived."

So the dentist performs the whole procedure without any gas or pain killer...

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are running from a serial killer

Frightened for their lives, they run into an alleyway and try to catch their breath.

"Quick!" says the brunette. "We have to hide!"

Wasting no time, the three girls run around the alleyway to find something to hide in. The redhead finds three human-sized bags and tosses them to her fri...

A well-dressed city slicker breaks down on a country road...

His cellphone is dead, but a kindly farmer tells him he can use the landline in his farmhouse, a few hundred yards back from the road.

The traveller strides hurriedly across the farmer's field in advance of the farmer, but hesitates as he draws near a broad body of water, and turns back to lo...

There was once a little blind girl...

... and more then anything in the world she wanted to be able to see again. "Mummy Mummy!" she would say, "when will i be able to see again?"and her mother would reply "well my darling, there are doctors working at this very instant on a cream which will make your eyes all better again! And we can g...

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Little Timmy woke up one morning desperate to pee.

He bounded out of bed and hurtled across the landing to the main bathroom. Eager not to cause an upset, he carefully prised open the bathroom door.
In the bathroom, Timmy's sister, Lucy, was shaving her legs. Unfortunately, she caught a spot on her razor, causing a stab of pain. Blood started to ...

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Marines' Early Morning Drill

A drill instructor had just been assigned a bunch of new recruits that he had to help train and introduce into the Marine Corps.

On the first morning after moving into the barracks, the DI woke everyone up at 0430, and ordered them to take a cold shower to break them in. Then, after 8 minutes...

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Three men went into the jungle

And were caught by a tribe of cannibals. The three men started pleading for their lives, and the chief, pitying them, gave them a chance.

Chief : Alright, I will offer you a chance to save yourselves. Each of you will go out into the forest accompanied by our men, and you will bring back 10 o...

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Pineapples

An Englishman, a Spaniard, and a Frenchman were on a ship headed towards the New World. On their journey, they encountered a bad storm, and were shipwrecked. They awoke and found themselves on an island, tied up and captives of a cannibal tribe.

The leader of the cannibals tells them that if ...

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A man was wandering, alone in a forest in rural China

He was getting weary from the long hours of constant walking, and was feeling very thirsty. He stopped to have a look around, and spotted a little shack in the forest. As he approached, an old man with a great long beard came out towards him, and bowed. "I see you are tired from walking, and you loo...

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Three men are captured by criminals

The criminal's leader says that if the men can go into the jungle and find 10 of the same fruit they would be freed.

So they go into the jungle. The first man comes back with apples and was told by the leader that if he could shove all his fruits up his butt without wincing or making faces th...

An old man walked into an ice cream parlor...

He slowly climbed onto a stool, wincing with pain, and then proceeded to order a banana split.
"Crushed nuts, sir?" asked the waitress.
The old man took a deep breath and replied, "No, arthritis"

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