During the last school play I felt funny and came over queasy.

At which point I was told to leave the production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

So, apple, lemon, and pea escape from the refrigerator..

Happy to be free from their prison, they go to a bar to celebrate. Many bars later, they're all tipsy at best when they come across a hill.

Pea, being a energetic drunk, gets super excited saying, "Hey! Let's roll down the hill! Come on!" And before the other two object he launches hims...

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A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big st...

A lime, a lemon, and a pea walked into a bar...

The lime ordered a beer, the lemon got some tequila, and the pea got a diet coke. The lime and lemon watched pea order, and eventually tried to ignore their sense of disgust at a diet coke. They listen to the music being played, drink up their drinks, and eventually get off the stools and pay. As th...

An orange, a pea, and a lemon are barhopping

They visit bar after bar, getting as many drinks as they can before they're cut off, and getting further away from home.

Orange notices a large hill, and suggests rolling down it to get back home. The pea and the lemon think this is a great idea, and they all climb up the hill.

Now a...

Little Tim

Little Tim went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Tim complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke. “No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and ...

A pea, a lemon, and a potato went to the bar

A pea, a lemon, and a potato all went out to the bar after work. They all had a couple of drinks and had a merry time. The potato, being made entirely of starch, didn't get drunk at all, let alone tipsy. The lemon, being citrus, didn't feel very good after the second drink. The pea, being very small...

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In the beginning, when Man was first created, all the members of the body held a meeting to decide who should be in charge.

The brain said that it should be in charge because it had the power of decision making and so controlled what everything else in the body did.

The eyes pointed out that they were the ones who saw everything, including whatever objectives the brain was going to decide to pursue, so they shou...

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A traveller enters a mysterious looking hotel and is greeted by a rather attractive girl sitting behind the check in desk.

She smiles at him, exposing slightly crooked teeth and endearing dimples. "You can have me, right here, right now." She gestures to a door he hadn't noticed before and continues, "Or, you can carry on to success."

The traveller is a little nonplussed, a little flattered about being propositio...

I'm nervous whenever I get on the plane.

This one flight was particularly bad and full of turbulence. With my stomach bouncing up and down, I started to feel queasy, so I started reading the newspaper to distract me. However, the inevitable happened and I ending up with my breakfast all over the Times. The flight attendant stopped by and I...

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The Most Important Body Part

One day the different parts of the body were having an
argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most
important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you
know where we are, so I'm the m...

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Sick Dwarf

So two Dwarves are walking through the woods when one of them starts to feel really queasy, he turns to the other dwarf and says, ‘I really do not feel well! I feel really dizzy and light headed’
The second dwarf tells his sick pal to sit down on a tree stump put his head between his legs and tak...

Irish bank robbery

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers c...

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A girlfriend goes to her boyfriends house for the first time...

and she is obviously really nervous about meeting his parents. So they are about to begin eating dinner and her stomach is starting to feel more and more queasy; and sure enough the boyfriends mom cooked bean casserole. Several minutes pass and the girlfriend can no longer hold the pressure in her...

22 Miles Per Hour

A cop is driving down a freeway and he suddenly sees a car going slow, like incredibly slow. He thinks "people who drive at super slow speeds are just as bad as driving super fast on a freeway." He takes out his radar gun, and takes the speed of the car. It reads 22 miles per hour. The cop decides t...

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A man is sitting at a bar, doing some heavy drinking...

He decides to take one last shot before going home. The shot doesn't sit too well with him; he gets queasy, and proceeds to vomit on his shirt.

"Fuck!" Says the dude. "My wife is gonna be so pissed that I came home covered in puke."

Thinking quickly, the bartender stuffs a five in his ...

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A guy decides to go down on a prostitute for no reason…

He's having fun until he feels like he's got a piece of food stuck in his teeth. Sure enough, he pulls out a little bit of broccoli.

"That's strange, I don't remember the last time I ate broccoli."

He keeps going and again, something stuck in his teeth. Carrots.

"It's been a rea...

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