I was reading this non-friction book

It was hard to grasp

Never tell me friction jokes...

I just won't let them slide.

I tried to give up friction cold turkey....

But I just couldn't stop.

A couple fingers, Vaseline, and the grace of God

Not an original joke but hilarious nonetheless. Presented for your enjoyment.


This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his w...

Friction walks into a bar

And orders a shot of rubbing alcohol.

How would a world without friction be?

Idk dude but I heard it’s going to be slick!

My girlfriend will only jack me off with rubber gloves thanks to Coronavirus

Its causing a lot of friction in our relationship.

Friction annoys me.

It's such a drag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a really horny tomato farmer with no lube?

Friction till fruition.

Yesterday, I watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.

It was non friction.

What do you get when you rub two oranges together owned by Quentin Tarantino?

Pulp Friction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go deer hunting.

An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go deer hunting. They see a massive buck, and the physicist gets to take the first shot.

The physicist takes out a notepad and pencil and starts calculating, "Account for coriolis force, air friction...carry the 9..." Finally the physicist has calcu...

There's something about friction man...

It really rubs me the wrong way.

The reason orange juice doesn't slide well on hard wood floors is

Because of pulp friction.

Knock knock..Who's there?..Interrupting coefficient of friction..

The interrupting coeff---

MU!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Her: “Sex last night was ok.” Him: “Sex last night was so hot, we set the bed on fire!”

Fact vs. Friction

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed.

The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the esca...

Ever wonder what the love life of a high school physics teacher is like?

Assume there is no friction.

Two cats are sitting on the roof. Which cat will fall off first?

The cat with the smaller [mu](https://www.britannica.com/science/coefficient-of-friction)!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there was a futuristic story about an alien who caught fire because he masturbated too hard

Would that be science friction?

I’m currently reading a great book about Lubricants.

It’s non-friction

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a v...

I just read a book that rubbed me the wrong way

It was science friction

I sit in front if my ex in physics

There’s a lot of friction between us

There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof. Which one falls off first?

the one with the smallest *mu*

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**Preemptive explanation:**

Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the...

I'm writing a book about WD-40.

It's Non-Friction

I was reading a book about lubrication in the library.

I found it in the non-friction section.

Why did the librarian keep falling down?

Because she was in the non-friction section

A man and woman fell in love...

Things were going well at first, but friction developed and their relationship started heading down hill.

One night during a fight, he tried to break the tension by going in for a kiss. She grabbed a nearby hat rack to block his maneuver and accidentally impaled his head on one of the hooks, ...

I've just been reading a book all about lubricant...

It's a fantastic piece of non-friction.

What's the best part of the library to hang out if you want to get laid?

Adult friction.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Friction

My friend stole the book I was reading and threw it across the table where it slid with ease

It was non-friction.

^^^^I'm ^^^^sorry.

What do you call two nerds dry humping on the couch?

Science friction.

11 Geeky Jokes

1. What does a subatomic duck say “Quark”.

2. Why did I divide Sin by Tan, Just Cos.

3. Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

4. Why can’t you trust atoms, they make up everything.

5. A pen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not sure if this is the right place for this but it was suggested I cross-post here (from ShittyPoetry). So here's my holiday story, 'Twas The Night Before Fapmas. Enjoy!

'Twas the night before Fapmas, alone in my house

One hand on my penis, the other on the mouse

Her stockings were drawn up to her tight thighs with care

And above her lady bits she had shaved off her hair

The actress was disrobed all bare on her bed

When entered a h...

The happiest person I know is a lubricant salesperson...

I guess you could say they don't have a lot of friction in their life.

Why do men run faster than women

rolling friction is lesser than sliding friction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks in a sex shop...

And asks for lube. The clerk brings one and hands it over to the guy.
The guy squeezes a little on his fingertip and rubs it with the thumb.
- "Do you have one with less friction?" The guys asks.
The clerk brings another one
The guys tests it again with the fingers and say:
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old married couple...

An old married couple were married for a really long time. The only friction in their marriage was that the man passed gas every night in bed. The wife often told her husband that one day he would "fart his guts out" however the man would always dismiss these claims as false. One day after having ch...

I just finished reading a book about preventing skin injuries and burns...

The author classified the book as "non-friction"

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