Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof

I was shocked.

I just realised my new electric toothbrush is not waterproof

I was shocked.

Y’know what would be confusing?

Finding out that your toaster is waterproof

My waterproof speaker got damaged when I threw it into the pool.

I filed a request for a replacement but they denied my request saying, "It's not our fault the pool was empty".

You know, something that really confused me

Was that my toaster was surprisingly waterproof

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I’ve had makeup sex only once in my life.

It took forever to get the waterproof mascara off my penis.

Another deserted island joke...

A chemist, a physicist, and an economist are shipwrecked on a deserted island, with only a book of waterproof matches, a set of flares, and a case of canned soup.

“All we have to eat is this soup,” said the chemist as he set of the first flare. “Let’s set the cans here, near the water, so th...

Love at Last!

George, age 92 and Edith, age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married.They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter.

"Are you the owner? "The pharmacist answers, "Yes". <...

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Not sure what you will find

A man who has been stranded on a deserted island all alone for 10 years sees a speck on the horizon. "It's too small to be a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer, he rules out the possibility of it being a small boat, then a raft.


Suddenly, a gorgeous blonde woman ...

Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof?

It can't catch fire underwater... I think.

I went diving with a bunch of laundry.

It was wrapped in a waterproof bag. I went in to gaze at the beautiful sealife. When I went back to the surface I noticed some of my clothes were missing.

Let's see I had 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 9 pants prior to diving and now I have 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 3 pants.

My friend asked me...

Bad Idea #1

Waterproof Towels

Me: I was recently diagnosed with Hyphil. My Wife: What’s Hyphil?

Me: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape that can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Fl...

A man decided that he wanted to learn how to scuba dive.

He spent weeks getting certified, and hundreds of dollars on all of the top of the line equipment he could get - fins, a wetsuit, a mask, and even a waterproof notebook with a pen that could write underwater.

When he finally got down underwater for the first time, he was surprised to see a m...

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and penc...

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Smoking Grannies

Two old ladies are waiting at a bus stop, while smoking. All of a sudden it starts to rain, so the first old lady tosses her cigarette into the trash. The second lady, however, keeps smoking. She reaches into her purse, pulls out a condom, opens the package, and just slips it onto her cigarette a...

A man from quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar....

A man from Quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar, one of them finds a lamp, he rubs it and a genie comes out, he grants the two with one wish each.

the guy from Quebec says "i want a big, 40 foot wall arround the entire province"

the genie claps his fingers and says "here, d...

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A man goes to buy a motorbike...

A man goes to buy a motorbike before meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. He finds an amazing looking model and asks the dealer what the price is. The dealer replies 'It's only $1000, but there's a catch. It's not waterproof. When it rains, you have to rub vaseline over it or it will...

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An American, Russian, and Asian are stranded on a desert island...

... They decide in order to survive they will have to work together and plan on splitting up the day's work.

The Russian was tasked with building a hut, the American was to search for food, while the Asian was to search for supplies.

Each sets off in their separate directions.
<...

The King and the Thrones

Once there was a king- his kingdom was made up of houses made from the hay, mud and reinforced by waterproof grass fronds from the riverbanks. The king, naturally, had the biggest house, his being the only one in the kingdom to have two floors; a tricky bit of engineering for an all natural structur...

Deep Sea Diver

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a moment later.

The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behi...

What will be the most useless invention?

A waterproof teabag

3 men are captured by savages...

3 men are traveling across the ocean on a cruise when their boat hits a large rock and sinks. Everyone on the boat dies except these 3 men who miraculously manage to swim a mile to a nearby forested island. The lucky survivors soon pass out on the beach from exhaustion. When they wake up, to their h...

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