Valentine's Day Card Jokes - 10 Hilarious Valentine's Day Card Jokes

My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card

Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order

When shopping for Valentine's day cards, I found one saying "Baby, you're the only one for me."

Great slogan, so I took 12.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more c...

A man is shopping for a Valentine's Day Card

He goes into the shop and asks the lady working there, "Do you have any cards that say 'For the one and only love of my life?'

'That's so romantic! The lady exclaims 'Yes, we do have a card with that exact text.'

'Great!' the man replies, 'I'll take eight.'

This is the first time I didn't get a Valentine's day card from my secret admirer in 20 years;

First my grandma died and now this;

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society.

It's the thought that cunts!

My missus asked me where her Valentine's day card was.

I said, "Sorry, I had a headache."

The amount of Valentine's day cards I got this year has left me breathless.

Turns out the card shop has a security guard and he gives a good chase.

For the last twenty years, I've received a Valentine's Day card from the same secret admirer...

So I was upset when I didn't get one this year. First my gran dies, now this?

Anybody know where I can get a Game of Thrones Valentine's day card?

It's for my sister.

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