A father and son are hanging out in their living room watching TV
Suddenly the dad’s feet are cold and he asks the son to get him his slippers from upstairs.
While upstairs the son sees two of his sister’s friends so he goes up to both of them and says, "My Dad told me to come up here and fuck both of you".
“you're lying", They say
The son ...
All these new fancy 4K, 5K even 8K TVs, and here I am with no TV.
And that's 0K
In the future, TVs will be 15 feet wide, only 2 inches tall,
and movies will still have those damn black bars on the top and bottom.
We shouldn't worry about our phones and TVs spying on us.
However, our vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years now.
TVs are getting thinner but people are getting fatter
So everyone is still the same distance from the screen.
Difference between a wife and a girlfriend
A grandson asked his grandpa one question while on the way back from school.
Grandson: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
Grandpa thought for a minute and simplified the explanation like this:
Grandpa: Listen young one, a wife is like a TV and a girlfriend i...
Bill Gates dies and reaches the Pearly Gates....[Long]
Meets Saint Peter at the gates and he tells Bill, “because you brought computers, technology and helped humanity, we have decided to let you tour hell and after the tour, you get to decide if you want to stay there, or come into heaven”
“I get to choose?” Asked Bill
“Yes... But just re...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Contrary to popular belief there was more sex on the TV in the 50s and 60s than there is now.
Modern TVs can't support the weight.
An Engineer goes to Hell.
The first thing he notices is, it's awful hot. So he goes and checks the A/C system, and notices a missing belt. He replaces it, and soon it's a cool 78F.
The next thing he notices, is that all the TVs are showing nothing but static. He checks the satellite dish, and sees it's misaligned. He...
In a certain country, there are specialized manufacturing villages
There are shoes village, candy village, light bulb village... Deeper in the mountains there are villages that even produce things like air conditioners or TVs. But the most rural one is the remote village.
A woman goes to buy a tv
She goes to the salesman and says, “I’d like to buy this tv good sir.” He says, “I’m sorry ma’am but I cannot sell to blondes.” Upset the woman leaves
It is the next day and she wears a different outfit with a wig. The woman is sure the salesman won’t recognize her. She says, “I’d like to ...
My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV
So I arrived home and set it up.
Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.