What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children?

Orange is the new Black... 🙃

Why was Sirius Black safe from COVID?

Because he was quarantined in Maskaban

What's the name of the Arch nemesis of Sirius black?

Casual White

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sirius B is moving towards us at 10 km per second at may get the latin name "tribulatio" ( trouble ) and may hit an outer the outer planet Uranus one day.

We have Sirius trouble in Uranus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry potter and Hermione are talking

Harry: Hermione, im gay.

Hermione: Are you fucking kidding?

Harry: No im fucking sirius.

James Potter and Sirius Black passed by each other in heaven.

James exclaimed, "Sirius, why are you here? Are you visiting?"

Sirius hung his head. "No, I actually died. Bellatrix killed me in the Department of Mysteries."

Potter just laughed. "What do you mean? You were a much better wizard than her. You can't fool me."

"I'm not kidding!" ...

In the Harry Potter books, Sirius Black is in his early 30's,

... but in the movies, he look like an Oldman.

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

Fifth one— Dead Sirius.

You know that scene in Harry Potter where his godfather dies?

That was a dead Sirius moment

Why didn't the star laugh at the joke?

It was pretty Sirius

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Dad: "Your last words!"

Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"

Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"

Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"

Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I sa...

What did Harry Potter say when he found out the werewolf that had been terrorising his school was his Godfather?

You cannot be Sirius

My friend thinks he was a god in his previous life

I don't think he was being Sirius !

So, what do you do? - I'm a supervillain

What's your name? - Autocorrector.

— HAHAHA! Are you Sirius?
What's your super powder? Wait a minion... what the help is happy ninja to me? PLEATS MAKE IT DUCKING STOP!

You know Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix ?

That’s when they books starting getting dead Sirius

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tonks: Remus, I swear, I have no idea how those dog hairs got there...

Remus: Are you fucking Sirius?!

An extremely bright star walks into a bar.

He shines so bright he nearly blinds everyone inside.

"Are you kidding?" The bartender asks in annoyance.

"No," The star replies. "I'm Sirius."

Son: (Sobbing) "Dad, my teacher said I would never be the brightest star in the sky"

Dad: "You're not Sirius?!"

What's the brightest star in the night sky?

Sirius replies only.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard this one on Comedy (Sirius Radio) awhile back. It's by the late Jay Hickman.

This boy was sitting on the sidewalk eating candy and then he would pick up a cat and bite it on the ass, then get up and move down the sidewalk and do the same - eat the candy, bite the cat on the ass, get up and move down the side walk. This guy driving by see this and says, "Hey, what are doing?...

2 Canadians are sitting outside watching the night sky.

When the first guy asks the other “If you had to be one star in the night sky, which one would you be, eh?”

The second guy thinks for a moment and says “I’d probably be the brightest star in the sky.”

To which the first guy quickly responds “You can’t be Sirius A!”

Batman and the Joker are in the retirement home together, working on crafts projects. Batman looks at Joker's cross-stitch of the night sky and asks, "Why'd you leave out the Dog Star?" Joker answers...

"Why sew Sirius?"

XM Radio is looking for feedback on Reddit about how to improve customer service

They're taking Sirius replies only.

I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.

He was dead Sirius.

Stephen King's Sons

When Stephen King’s twin sons were born, he had a hard time coming up with names for them. Finally, after several hours of thinking, he managed to pull a couple out of the air.

“I’ll name the first son Joseph, after my great-grandfather.”“Fine, and what about the other one?” His wife asked....

Harry Potter defeated Voldemort but he spared him after saying something, what did he say?

Why So Sirius?

Legitimate question, what's that canine constellation called?

[SIRIUS]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dumbledore turns to Mcgonagall

"Minerva, you're such a dear friend. There's something I've been meaning to share with you. You see, Minerva I'm gay."

Professor Mcgonagall looking quite shocked meets his eye,

"Why albus, you must be joking!"

"NO, minerva. I'm fucking Sirius"

I can’t get my satellite radio to work

I’m having sirius issues

Harry Potter uses the resurrection stone in the forest

All of his loved ones proceed to appear around him. Harry looks around at everybody in amazement.

Sirius Black: We are talking to you from beyond the grave.

Harry walks over to his godfather.

Harry Potter: Are you....Serious???

Sirius Black: ......




...

What is Harry Potter's favorite radio station?

Sirius XM

Roger Federer, Pat Rafter and John McEnroe decide to go to a party dressed as stars.

"I'll be Betelgeuse," says Federer.

Rafter says, "OK, I'll be Sirius".

McEnroe says, "YOU CANNOT BE SIRIUS."

Alien arrives on Earth

and goes to communicate with humans.
He enters a bar, men there are drinking vodka.
"I am from Sirius" alien starts.
"Hey, barkeep! Pour Sirius a shot"
Everyone drinks a shot, after a while alien starts again:
"You didn't understand me. I am from Sirius"
"Hey, bartende...

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie.

I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans

Sister: "Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"

Me:"wait, whose the godfather?"

Sister: "Sirius Black"

Took me a minute.

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