I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted and funny.

The fifth was dead Sirius.

Terrorist holding dad at gunpoint-

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Dad: "Your last words!"

Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"

Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"

Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"

Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard this one on Comedy (Sirius Radio) awhile back. It's by the late Jay Hickman.

This boy was sitting on the sidewalk eating candy and then he would pick up a cat and bite it on the ass, then get up and move down the sidewalk and do the same - eat the candy, bite the cat on the ass, get up and move down the side walk. This guy driving by see this and says, "Hey, what are doing?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter: "Hermoine, I'm gay"

Hermione: "Are you kidding?"
Harry: "No, I'm fucking Sirius"

Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?

Order of the Phoenix, because that’s when it starts getting Dead Sirius.

An extremely bright star walks into a bar.

He shines so bright he nearly blinds everyone inside.

"Are you kidding?" The bartender asks in annoyance.

"No," The star replies. "I'm Sirius."

My friend said he discovered the brightest star in the night sky.

There is no way he could possibly B Sirius.

2 Canadians are sitting outside watching the night sky.

When the first guy asks the other “If you had to be one star in the night sky, which one would you be, eh?”

The second guy thinks for a moment and says “I’d probably be the brightest star in the sky.”

To which the first guy quickly responds “You can’t be Sirius A!”

Legitimate question, what's that canine constellation called?

[SIRIUS]

Batman and the Joker are in the retirement home together, working on crafts projects. Batman looks at Joker's cross-stitch of the night sky and asks, "Why'd you leave out the Dog Star?" Joker answers...

"Why sew Sirius?"

XM Radio is looking for feedback on Reddit about how to improve customer service

They're taking Sirius replies only.

Harry Potter 5 is very dark...

Dare I say, ‘sirius’ly black.

Son: (Sobbing) "Dad, my teacher said I would never be the brightest star in the sky"

Dad: "You're not Sirius?!"

I think you are only supposed to wish upon one star, but I wished upon two

Because I couldn't take it completely Sirius.

I can’t get my satellite radio to work

I’m having sirius issues

I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.

He was dead Sirius.

I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies.

Should've added the [Sirius] tag.

What is Harry Potter's favorite radio station?

Sirius XM

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dumbledore turns to Mcgonagall

"Minerva, you're such a dear friend. There's something I've been meaning to share with you. You see, Minerva I'm gay."

Professor Mcgonagall looking quite shocked meets his eye,

"Why albus, you must be joking!"

"NO, minerva. I'm fucking Sirius"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Harry Potter say when he found Dumbledore in bed with his godfather?

Are you fucking Sirius?

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie.

I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans

Sister: "Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"

Me:"wait, whose the godfather?"

Sister: "Sirius Black"

Took me a minute.

Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky.

Surely, you can't be Sirius.

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