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Turn Signal Jokes

If I was a cop I would be ticketing people for not using their turn signals..

Left and right

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

What do condoms and turn signals have in common?

If people used them, there would be less accidents

What do you do if you see a BMW using a turn signal?

Call the police, it's obviously stolen.

Why don’t BMW owners use their turn signals?

They’re too stubborn to pay the monthly subscription fee!

A blonde gets a job at a Gas Station...

It is her first day, and her first customer drives to pump #1 in a red convertible. Super excited, she approaches the customer and says, "Hey, mister, would you like some gas?" The customer says, "Yes, that's why I am here," she immediately gets to work, filling the customer's tank.

While the...

[NSFW] Condoms Are Like Turn Signals

I never use them.

If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember

there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.

Son: C’mon Dad, put you turn signal on before you change lanes.

Dad: FLICKer? I hardly know her!

I don't use turn signals.

I figure its none of their business where I'm going.

The newly released BMW M4 had faulty turn signals

It took the new owners 4 months to notice

Turn Signals

They seem to be a joke to most drivers..

What is the only time you see BMWs using their turn signals?

The driving examiner is sitting on the front passenger seat.

When future autonomous cars are connected on a network and speak to eachother, they won't need turn signals anymore.

... So BMW owners will have to figure out some other safety system to just not use.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the chicken make a triple lane change on the highway without a turn signal?

Because he was a cock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between someone who doesn't use their turn signal and Hitler?

You know Hitler will turn Reich.

What can you always assume when buying a used BMW?

The turn signal will always be in brand-new condition.

Not making it up: I actually saw a turn signal used on a BMW.

I'm guessing it was borrowed.

Why are turn signals great workers?

When they get tired and burn out, they work twice as hard.

I have told my blone girlfriend to get outside the car and check if the turn signal works

She: working, not working, working, not working, working...

"Drive that thing like you stole it!"

One Friday night, when I was a teenager getting ready to go out, my Dad handed me the car keys and said, "Have fun, son. And remember. Drive that thing like you stole it!"

Upset, my Mom immediately asked why he would say such a reckless thing to his teenager.

To which my Dad replied, "...

I've seen aliens. I've seen Bigfoot. I've even fed a few fish to the Lochness Monster.

But I still have never seen a BMW driver use his turn signals.

What never needs maintenance on a BMW?

The turn signal lightbulb

Do you think more people will realize that their cars have a built in feature called a “turn signal” and that it can be turned on and off with a stick next to their steering wheel now that they are hanging their face masks from it?

Probably not.

Another blonde joke

Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's worki...

There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored?

The turn signals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a stolen BMW today. I decided to call the police.

“Yes officer, I’ve just seen a stolen vehicle out here on the highway, westbound”

“With all due respect, civilian, there are hundreds, thousands of vehicles out there, it is incredibly difficult to spot a stolen vehicle if you don’t have the training for it. Did you see a smashed window or so...

I get being "mysterious" is cool...

But turn signals are for the populations safety...

The Lord moves in mysterious ways. But you don’t.

Use your turn signal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saved a guys life today. (How?) He was choking.

So I took my hands off his neck.

And said, dont make me save your life again asshole. Use your turn signal next time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

instead of trying to change your entire life in 2018, why don't you start small?

like using your fucking turn signal

How do you make people in the lane next to you go faster?

You activate your turn signal.

Modern cars are always bloated with unnecessary add ons

I mean, who needs turn signals on a BMW.

I think I can finally buy a BMW.

I got a new high paying job with a large bonus. My investments are doing well. And most importantly, I haven't used my turn signal in the last 6 months.

BMW raided over emissions scandal /r/news

Investigators discovered huge stockpile of uninstalled turn signal controllers.

HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Atlana. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-285 is...

2 High people in a car

A couple of guys were smoking weed and drinking in the car. They were having a wonderful time until one of their moms called one of them and wanted him home ASAP. they drove off quickly to get home before their friend's mom gets mad. The driver ( let's call him Frank) suspected that the Cars Turn S...

You ever felt useless? Ever thought your job has no real purpose or meaning?

Keep your head up. Just remember that you make a difference in this world.

Unless you are that guy who makes turn signals in the BMW factory.

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