UPJOKE
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A blonde gets a job at a Gas Station...

It is her first day, and her first customer drives to pump #1 in a red convertible. Super excited, she approaches the customer and says, "Hey, mister, would you like some gas?" The customer says, "Yes, that's why I am here," she immediately gets to work, filling the customer's tank.

While the...

Why don't Los Angeles drivers use their blinkers?

It gives too much information to the enemy.

The Blonde and the Blinker

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

My friend said his cars blinkers only work 50% of the time

I asked if they kept turning on and off

How to change the blinker fluid in your car or truck:

STEP ONE: wear safety glasses! If you get any fluid in your eye, it will cause uncontrollable blinking until you wash it out.

The husband has to go through inspection. He asks his blonde wife to see if the rear blinkers work...

Yes!

.

.

.

.

.








No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes!

Police patrol in the Outback

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback.

After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
...

The oil change shop tried to scam a customer by telling him that his car needed "blinker fluid"

The customer said, "Nice try, you can't trick me. My BMW doesn't have blinkers!"

A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.

He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She did as told and said " Yes, No, Yes, No.

If you ever feel worthless, just remember

It's someones job to install blinkers on BMW's

Do you ever feel useless?

You could be some German factory worker installing blinkers on a new BMW.

Lada breaks down on the autobahn...

... Driver gets out only to see someone pull up in a Porsche Cayenne. Cayenne driver asks him does he need a tow. Lada driver replies with a "Yes. I will turn my right blinker on to tell you that you are going too fast." After a few hundred meters, a person in a Lamborghini Urus speeds by.

Po...

How many BMW drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn’t matter, they won’t use their blinker anyways.

You don't see that everyday.

A man was driving his ferrari down a country road when a farmer flagged him down and said that his tractor died in a field and needed a little help. The man agreed to help tow the farmer's tractor back to his farm. They agreed that the tractor's left blinker meant speed up and the right blinker mean...

This is a son and a father in a car and the father says:

Father: Son, can you check if the car blinker is working

The son goes to the front of the car and starts looking at the car blinkers.

Father: Okey, is it working?

Son: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes.

...Another Blonde Joke

A blonde waves down a taxi cab near a street corner. As she opens the rear door, the Taxi driver asks her to check the rear lights to ensure the blinkers are working... The Blonde steps to the rear of the taxi and yells out, "Yes... No... Yes... No..."

I think I can read minds

because I always know a BMW is changing lanes before they use their blinker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saved a mans life today. He was choking.

So i took my hands off his throat.

and said, "dont make me save your life again and use your blinker next time asshole."

If nothing is faster than the speed of light

Why did I see that Asian lady turn before I saw her blinker

Mechanics might disagree, but...

...eyedrops are technically blinker fluid.

You would think that I would eventually learn

That not everyone is grateful when you try to help them. I was driving the other day and saw an old guy trying to cross the road. I pulled over, turned on my blinkers and went to assist the fellow. This guy turned around, and came after me, and tried to bite me. Snapping turtles are a hell of a lot ...

Recent studies show that electric vehicles made by BMW have a ten percent better battery life.

Because they don't waste electricity by using their blinkers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Lord moves in mysterious ways

But you don't have to, so use your fucking blinkers

[OC] What's the difference between a BMW and a horse?

Blinkers actually serve a purpose on a horse.

If you ever feel like your ideas aren't worthwhile...

remember that somebody at BMW once proposed that blinkers should be installed in their vehicles.

Many countries make prisoners do labour that's of no use to anyone.

In Britain, prisoners would climb a treadwheel that turned a fan.

In Russia, prisoners would break rocks in the Siberian wasteland.

And in Germany, prisoners are forced to fit the blinkers to BMW cars.

What's the difference between Fireflies and BMW Drivers.

Fireflies use their blinkers.

Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution

A man is driving down the road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution - 3 miles." He is intrigued.

A short time later, he sees another sign that says, "Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution - 1 mile." He slows down a little to give himself a litt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shut Up, Manners, and Poop are cruising down the road...

Shut Up is driving, Manners is in the passenger seat and Poop is having a blast sitting in the back. Poop keeps getting close to the open window and Manners tries to warn him but it's too late; Poop flies right out the window. Shut Up waits until it's safe and then pulls the car over. He tells Manne...

I tried to build a wooden car once.

It was going to have everything wood. Wooden chassis, wooden body, wooden engine, wooden gearbox, wooden diff, wooden wheels, wooden headlamps, wooden blinkers, even a wooden radio.

But no matter what I did, it just wouldn't go.

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