Nihilist Jokes

but nothing is funny to me now.

They've been at it for hours trying recipe after recipe, but they just can't get it right. Nothing they make tastes as good as they hope.

Eventually, the existentialist throws his hands up in despair. "Maybe we're going about this all wrong. Maybe we just need to accept that taste is subjecti... read more

Here goes nothing

A Horse walks into a bar.
The Bartender sees such a vivid depth
of despair and dissatisfaction in the Horse's eyes,
like the Horse has stared into the abyss
and found the infinite void of nothingness so deep
that the Horse could no longer believe
that he himself nor anyone nor anyt... read more

...would they wear a Futility Belt?

It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.

Does it really matter ?

without protons, nothing matters.

Nah, what's the purpose?

"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.

But nahhh it doesn't matter

But I don't care how you call me

... for people who have nothing in common

Nobody cares, it doesn't really matter

I guess it's a Nietzsche market.

Someone who studies rivers in Egypt.

It doesn’t matter though

They sit down and order beers.

The objectivist takes a drink and says "I wish I could enjoy this without wondering if I enjoy this just because I was told to."

The nihilist takes a drink and says "I wish I could enjoy this without knowing enjoyment is only fleeting."

The ab... read more

But there was no point.

Nothing of value was stolen.

Sweet Nothings.

They're part of the #NoLivesMatter movement.

He didn’t carrot all

existence is futile.

I guess you can say I’m a denihilist.

Exercises in futility

It's pointless.

and it was getting a bit dull so I turned to the guy next to me and asked

"So, what do you do?"

He lit up, eager to tell all.
"Well, I'm studying the effects of introducing rodents to Nihilistic thinking through an intricate series of signals and experiments. Nice to meet cha!"
<... read more

David Bloom gained notoriety for his book “Piscus Terminus: How to tell your five year old you flushed his fish down the toilet.” Noted for its brute realism, the book’s message led many kindergartners to spiral into a nihilistic despair, which contributed to the phenomenon of so called “Kierkegaard... read more

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve minors in here.".

I don't live anywhere near that river.

Despairagus.

Never mind. It doesn't matter.

The Ethical Objectivist orders water, the Relativist orders a glass of wine and the Nihilist steals a beer. The Ethical Objectivist is appalled at the Nihilist, and is upset the two are drinking. The Relativist says, “Don’t worry. You aren’t guilty by association.” The Nihilist shrugs and says, “I w... read more

"There is no porpoise."

Three philosophers walk into a bar: a nihilist, a fatalist, and an absurdist. They all are served an empty shotglass, which they dutifully and gladly accept.


The first two stay sober but the absurdist still gets hammered.

Because they’re on the nihilist.

Guy: "How do you spell nihilism?" Nihilist: "It doesn't matter."

I guess you could call me a nihilist

That's they're nihilists?

Note: I'll show myself to the door. Bye :)

"*The Monitors Are Down ...*", performed live for the first time today in downtown New York City, has been praised for a unique nihilistic style and pertinent statements regarding the internet-induced apathy of today's youth.