A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.
The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.
The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.
"Hi honey, ho...
"I do not tolerate tardiness," a professor tells his class at the beginning on the semester.
Looking out at the sea of stricken faces in the large lecture hall he continues. "There are 300 of you, and only one of me. I will not allow you to waste my time. If you are late to class, I will count you as absent for the day. If you hand in an assignment late, it will not count towards your grade...
A Gambler Retires
This guy had a serious gambling problem, but thankfully tended win quite often. He amassed a colossal sum of money over many decades of his vice, and decided to retire to somewhere far away. He ran across pictures online of a location that seemed to be perfect for him: a mountainous region in Easter...
Guilty of Annoyance
A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.
Judge: “Where do you work?”
Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.”
All those people who think they know everything are such an annoyance..
..to those of us who actually do.