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Transfusion Jokes

I asked old Maud how she lost her husband. She told me her sad story…

"Well, he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was, as they urgently needed to know, in order to save my Norman's life.

Tragically, I've never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye.
I'll never ...

My dad died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type for the blood transfusion

As he was dying he kept insisting “be positive”but it’s hard without him.

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An Arab and a Jew

There was an Arab oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being AB+ it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to g...

There were three nurses in a morgue... They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste".

After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it.
The 2nd nurse did the same.
The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period.
After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it.
After 3 minutes the man woke up.
The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a fe...

A little-known risk with blood transfusions . . .

A wealthy Arab Sheikh was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood, in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located wh...

My son made it through a blood transfusion, so I bought him a 50″ HDTV...

He loves his new plasma...

A rich man needs a blood transfusion

A rich man goes to the doctor and the doctor says he needs a blood transfusion. So the rich man goes to work the next day and tells his Jewish employee & close friend the news. Since they have been very close friends for a long time, the Jewish guy offers him some of his own blood.

Right ...

Billionaire needs a transfusion

A billionaire business man is in hospital dying, and he desperately needs a blood transfusion. So he tells his Jewish friend, "I'll pay you 1 million dollars if you let me use your blood form my operation."

His Jewish friend agrees.

A few weeks later the business man needs yet another ...

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Three nurses in the morgue...

Three nurses went down to the morgue and found a dead guy lying there with a hard-on. *" It's a shame to waste that!"* exclaimed the first nurse, so she proceeds to ride him. The second nurse didn't hesitate to ride the guy after the first nurse was done, but the third was a bit hesitant because she...

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3 nurses walk into a patient's bedroom only to find him dead.

The first nurse goes to check on him and notices that he had a massive erection so she tells the other nurses to give him a good send off by have sex with him. The first nurse does it and stops after getting tired. The second does the same and stops to share with the third nurse. The third nurse was...

The Rabbi and the Sheikh

A wealthy Sheikh who was travelling in the US met a terrible accident and would need to undergo blood transfusion. The Sheikh had a rare type of blood that the doctor's had never encountered before.
They made tests from several donors but found no match, days passed and the Sheikh's health was g...

Two guys are in a bar, discussing life and death.

“Arrr, my grandpa died this week,” says the first guy. “He was in the hospital, and we was trying to get a blood transfusion fer him. The problem was, we weren’t too sure what blood type he was. But you know what? That man kept saying ‘Be positive, be positive’ all throughout the visit. Most optimis...

A man is declared dead in the emergency room with 3 nurses present.

Noticing he has a hardon, the first nurse says:
"I wouldn't want it to go to waste", and rides him.
The second nurse agrees, and does the same.
The third nurse says she's on her period, but that a little blood won't do anything.
After they're all done, the man suddenly wakes up, feelin...

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nurses

Three nurses were working the night shift in a hospital, when they were asked to take a body to the mortuary, they take the body down in the lift and wheeled it into the mortuary, one says “I wonder who it was who died,” they carefully take the sheet off, to find the body of a man in his 20s, with a...

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Learned in church camp when I was 10 or 11. The only joke I know.

So there was this yellow toad, he wants to be green like his buddies. He goes to the Dr. and gets a blood transfusion to turn himself green. A while later he returns to the Dr. "Hey doc, you did a good job. But I have one problem...my dick is still yellow". The Dr. tells the toad that he can't do an...

An Arab sheikh is dying

... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. T...

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A man dies in a hospital....

A man dies in a hospital, the three nurses that were operating on him notice he has a raging hard-on. One of them says "I know it sounds weird but I suddenly got the urge to fuck him", so she does. The second nurse says "Wow that looks like fun, let me try", she fucks him too. The last nurse says "I...

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe..

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempt...

I'm exhausted. Just came back from the hospital.

My girlfriend was in a bad way. Tonight the doctors told me that she urgently needed a blood transfusion and I had no idea what blood type she was. Obviously she saw my panic, and god bless her, with her last breath she reassured me by saying, "Be positive. Be positive." For her, I was. I'll miss he...

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A little paper bag was feeling unwell

So he took himself off to the doctor.

“Doctor, I don’t feel too good,” said the little paper bag.

“Hmm, you look OK to me,” said the Doctor, “But I‘ll do a blood test and see what that shows. Come back and see me in a couple of days.”

The little paper bag felt no better when he ...

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