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Thrones Jokes

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Warning: Game of Thrones Spoilers

Will make your car look fucking stupid

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

How many Game of Thrones seasons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

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I get anxious when I watch “Game of Thrones” with my parents, because of all the sex.

Sometimes I turn the volume up, so that I don’t hear them.

What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common?

All their Walkers are dead

What does Senator Lindsey Graham, Upcoming Game of Thrones Book "Dream of Spring" and Video Game Star Citizen have in common?

None of them are ever coming out!





You're welcome

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Game of thrones spoiler!!!!

Now that all the nerds aren't paying attention, party at my house this Saturday.

What's the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?

One has dragons and the other has drag-offs

Why doesn’t Napoleon watch Game of Thrones?

Because Winter is Coming

Apparently, all the tents from the Game of Thrones sets are being redecorated for use in a new mini-series on Genghis Khan.

I am not sure why anyone is surprised about the recycled Khan tent.

The ending of Game of Thrones makes sense, think about it.

Arya went west, Jon went north, Drogon went east, and the show went south.

A different game of thrones

Long ago a then famous reporter of the times traveled to a little known kingdom deep in the heart of Africa, accompanied by translators and bearers of course. It was not very technologically advanced, with no plumbing and clay and stray being the primary building materials.

Upon arrival he w...

What's the difference between the Game of Thrones books and a Chinese newspaper?

To understand everything in a Chinese newspaper you only need to know about 3,000 characters.

Which Game of Thrones character doesn't stink ?

Bran

He is Hodorless

The King and the Thrones

Once there was a king- his kingdom was made up of houses made from the hay, mud and reinforced by waterproof grass fronds from the riverbanks. The king, naturally, had the biggest house, his being the only one in the kingdom to have two floors; a tricky bit of engineering for an all natural structur...

David Benioff and Dan Weiss wrote this joke for the loyal viewers of the Game of Thrones series

Season 8

What do The Shining, Titanic, Game of Thrones, and The Sixth Sense all have in common?

Icy dead people.

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Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and a porno?

At the end of the porno everyone was satisfied

Why do they run the credits at the beginning of Game of Thrones?

Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end.

What do suicide and game of thrones have in common?

They both don’t end well.

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

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Why is game of thrones so popular?

Who doesn't enjoy a porn with good backstory?

In Game of Thrones Winter Came...

And everyone left unsatisfied

Going on a one night stand with me is like Game of Thrones

Everything is exciting, conversations are awesome, you really like where things are going and you are excited for things to come.

Then you get home with me, and all the build up is ruined with sloppy action which ends way too soon with utter disappointment and you never want to think about it...

What if HIV existed in Game of thrones?

Jason momowa would try to kill it

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We've seen a lot of nudity on Game of Thrones

I think tonight might be the first night we have ever seen a Dickon fire though

Who's the wildest knight in Game of Thrones?

Ser Engeti

Game of Thrones

Q: What's the name of Hodor's cat?

> A: Hodor

Q: Why did Hodor cross the road?

> A: Hodor

Q: How many Hodors does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

> A: Hodor

Q: What's the title of Hodor's favorite book?

> A: Hodor

Q: Why wasn'...

Game Of Thrones Joke (semi-spoiler contained within)

I don't know why Brianne was surprised Jamie left; she already knew he was a hands off kinda guy.

What did they name Game of Thrones' first stock exchange?

Investeros

What do beds and Game of Thrones have in common?

Put 2 twins together and you get a king.

What are the spiders like in Game of Thrones?

Varies.

Which Game of Thrones house does House Trump most resemble?

Definitely not House Lannister, because they always pay their debts.

Game of Thrones Spoiler Joke

I heard the Night King just got a hold of one rarest YuGiOh cards

People still having large weddings during a pandemic must be huge Game of Thrones fans.

After all a Dothraki wedding without at least 3 deaths is considered a dull affair.

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The final season of game of thrones is a lot like porn.

Awful dialogue, shallow plot, and the characters just keep getting fucked.

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Was in the bathroom the other day next to the guy that played Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones.

He wasn’t paying attention and pissed on my shoes. Damn that Peter Sprinklage.

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How can you tell if someone has never seen Game of Thrones?

They'll fucking tell you.

I watched all of Game of Thrones back to back with the girlfriend,

Fortunately I was the one facing the TV.

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[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

People complain about Game of Thrones having a lot of incest...

...but Bran could have broken his arms instead of his legs

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An improved Game of Thrones joke

Robert Baratheon, Renly Baratheon and Stannis Baratheon go into a tavern. They order ale, but when the barkeep brings them over, they each find a fly in their cups. Robert goes into rage and smashes the cup, demanding new ale. Renly takes the fly out and laughs with the barkeep about it. Stannis rea...

I know who dies first in the last Game of Thrones...

The legacy of a once-great show

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If I've learned anything from watching Game of Thrones..

It's that family always cums first.

African chief whose obsession was to conquer other chiefs and take their thrones as trophies

There was this African chief at the turn of the last century whose obsession was to conquer other chiefs and take their thrones as trophies. These thrones he would collect and display in the second level of his magnificent palace just above his own luxurious throne. This palace was renowned for its ...

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[Spoiler] In Game of Thrones, what is Jon and Dany's favorite sexual position?

Lannister style

Game of Thrones is really getting out of hand...

Even websites are dying in the new season.

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

You know who's the best character in the Game of Thrones show right now?

It *Varys*

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A Game of Thrones Joke

What do Theon Greyjoy and Justin Timberlake have in common?
A dick in a box.

I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019

I hate when TV shows dragon too long.

People think that Ed Sheeran cameo in Game of Thrones was bad...

But I thought Amy Winehouse getting hit in the face with a rock in last nights episode was just in bad taste.

So we wont see season 8 of Game of Thrones until 2019

They're really dragon it out

So there was this king in Hawaii living in a straw thatch style palace whose hobby was collecting thrones...

Anytime some local carpenter created a new ornate chair, he had to have it for his collection. The guy was wild about them, it was his one true passion in life.

Well one day, lightning strikes during a thunderstorm and his palace burns down including his entire collection. He was crushed, ne...

This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy

Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin

Now that Game of Thrones is ending, you know who my dad thinks should write pirate books?

George "Arrre Arrre" Martin

I'm sorry.

What did you think of the Game of Thrones season finale?

I thought it was auntie-climactic.

What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

Had an issue with how the latest season of Game of Thrones ended:

Bit of an auntie climax don't you think?

What airline does Sophie Turner use when she's filming Game of Thrones?

Luftsansa

Brexit must have impacted Game of Thrones' budget really badly… (spoilers)

I heard yesterday they fired half of the cast.

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A fierce jungle tribe always built their houses in the trees

The wood made the floors and the supports, but the houses themselves were made out of thatched grass. The tribe honored those who built the best grass houses.

One day the tribe went to war with a nearby tribe. The warriors fought well and they sacked the tribe's village, taking the rival tr...

Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence.

"Icey dead people"

What do the last ten minutes of Dexter and the last season of Game of Thrones have in common?

They ruin eight years of your life.

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My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in...

I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself.

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones

If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones

If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones

If everyone was single: Game of Alones

If it was about balls: Game of Throwns

If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones

If everyone u...

So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...

so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shou...

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