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Theory Of Jokes

Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

I Like Jung's Theory of the Collective Unconscious

I think we're all asleep at the wheel!

Einstein was pleasuring himself when he came up with the theory of relativity.

Stroke of genius.

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

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Theory of relativity

Person A sticks his nose in the ass of person B. Theoretically speaking, both people have a nose stuck in the ass. But person B has a relatively better position.

Why did Reddit mods take down Darwin’s theory of evolution post?

The link was missing

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A professor was teaching the theory of relativity...

when a late student came into class.

The student asked, "what did I miss?"

"it's about damn time." The professor replied.

According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

Theory of Jumping Fleas

A lunatic asylum inmate amused himself by placing the pet flea on his left hand and on the command "Jump, Freddie, jump", the insect would leap to his right hand.

This game helped the poor man to pass away the mindless hours but one day he produced a tiny pair of scissors and proceeded to cut...

The buffalo theory of beer joke

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the...

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The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

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You’ve heard of the theory of the famous Cocktail dress? Two vodkas and it’s off. But have you heard of the American dress?

One yank and it’s down

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Someone asked me if I would bet on Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personalityl

I replied I'm all Id

I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein proposed The Theory of Relativity.

Feels like only yesterday.

What does the theory of the beginning of the universe and your conception have in common?

A Big Bang

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

I told my friend that I disproved the theory of conservation of mass,

But he didn't understand the weight of the situation.

While working at the Patent Office, I discovered the Theory of Irrelativity.

But then I decided it didn't matter.

My SO told me she had never heard of Einstein's Theory of Relativity before today.

I said, "It's about time!"

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

What does an incestuous physicist study?

The theory of relativity.

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Immaculate conception disproven in 8 words.

Hey reddit, so by complete accident I've disproven the theory of Jesus's virgin birth through researching Christmas tunes. This can be found in the first eight words of 'Joy to the World'

Joy to the world, the Lord is cum.

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Roc...

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The only thing that matters about penis size is how it compares to your significant other's past lovers.

It's the theory of genital relativity.

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Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin

Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin,
Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.?

At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed".

He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large mammary glands, the attraction...

I was doing some scientific research on the House of Hapsburgs and I have now discovered

The Theory of General Relativity.

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What did Einstein discover staring at his cousin's cleavage?

The 'Theory of Relative- Titty.'

Why did Einstein marry his cousin?

He wanted to test his theory of RELATIVITY

Can conspiracy theorists win a Nobel Prize?

They already have a Theory of Everything.

The Boss calls his secretary..

The boss calls his female secretary & says:"Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:"Me & my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of urself"

The husband calls his girlfriend & says:"My wife is g...

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A poop walks into a bar.

He jumps up onto a bar stool and sits there for a moment, waiting to be served.

The barman spots the poop on the stool, looks around the bar and shouts, "HEY! How did this get here?!"

"Well, it's a long story... " says the poop, "basically, I woke up in the sewer last year and sudden...

Aristotle has long been regarded for his philosophical mind.

But it's too bad his theory of inertia never really gained momentum.

Michaelangelo, Albert Einstein, and George W. Bush die and end up at heaven's gate...

Michaelangelo walks up to the gate and St. Peter tells him. "Listen, we have had some recent intruders faking who they were. Is there any way you can prove that you are the real Michaelangelo?"

Michaelangelo requests a board and he then proceeds to draw the most beautiful painting ever seen b...

Einstein, Picasso and George W. Bush stand before the Pearly Gates

Einstein, Picasso and Bush stand before the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter gets out to greet them and says: "I'll let you in, but first you have to prove that you are who you say you are."

Einstein: "That's easy. Could you give me a blackboard and some chalk, please?"

St. Peter snaps h...

Two guys are talking about their family histories...

GUY 1: Hey, I heard you're Einstein's distant cousin.

GUY 2: I'm not sure, really. It's just a theory of relativity.

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"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Donald trump arrive in heaven.

Saint Peter tells them that if they can prove that they really are who they say they are, they can go in. Picasso starts painting immediately, creating a master piece. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Einstein, who explains the theory of general relativity to him. Saint Peter...

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