UPJOKE
shutdownendblockageterminateshutconclusionterminationobstructionsettlementclosingstopperstopblockcloseshutter

There are two types of people in the world:

those who need closure

Starbucks announced the closure of 200 stores in Canada.

Guess i'll have to cross the road now.

Two nuns leave the abbey on their bicycles to spend the day in town. A road closure forces them to take a different route home....

"I've never come this way before," the first nun says.

The other says, "It's the cobblestones."

An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polack...

An Irishman, an Italian and a Polack are on death row, awaiting electrocution.
The warden takes the first man, and asks him if he has any last words. He says, 'I'm innocent. Perhaps years from now, evidence will show I"m telling the truth'.
The warden says, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what t...

Tunnel closure

The Dartford Tunnel has been closed today as
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the tunnel approach last night.

There was concerns that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was...

How do the inhabitants of a convent decide who cleans up after dinner?

They sign a nun-dish-closure agreement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Grocery Store Experience

5-7min read. Based on a true story.

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I was at the grocery store yesterday picking up some ingredients to make breakfast for the week. I already had a few essentials picked out like Milk, Eggs, & Bacon. Yes, Bacon is an essential. I moved to the cereal aisle but got stuck decidin...

I really wish I could find out what happened with my friend that couldn't pay his mortgage.

You know, just for closure.

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

I love Alt + F4

It offers me closure

Why did the newly widowed woman stop paying her mortgage?

For closure.

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