(So they land softer when they're sky diving?) No, because white ones scuff up too easily.
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Why shouldn't you go out in the savannah between 4pm and 6pm? \--That's when the elephants go sky-diving
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Why do elephants live in herds? \---To get the group dis...
How many magazines do you need to buy to get a pair of tennis shoes?
Ten issues.
Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
*edit* Thanks for the sliver kind person
A little boy sees a cowboy
A woman stops at a rural gas station so her little boy can use the bathroom. When he comes out, his mom is standing in line at the register and behind her is a cowboy!
The boy is really excited. He goes up to the man and asks, "Excuse me, mister. Are you a real cowboy?"
The cowboy sa...
Damn Dirty Hippie
I live near a small store way out in the country close to a hippie commune. They're good people for the most part, although a bit smelly sometimes.
I was in there one day and a long-haired, scraggly looking fellow came in. He had a ten-dollar bill in one hand and was naked as the day he was b...
What do sneeze attacks and runners both have?
Tennis shoes
An Easterner is visiting the West, and sees a man rounding up cattle on horseback.
He's wearing a ball cap, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. When the rider gets closer the guy waves him down and asks, "Hey, are you a cowboy?" The cowboy answers," Yep, I sure am." The guy asks, "Where's your Stetson, belt buckle, and cowboy boots?" The cowboy answers, "I don't want people to think I'm a ...
The cowboy
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."
The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the s...
A piece of string breaks out of prison.
Just one mile out from crossing state lines, the piece of string sees a checkpoint up ahead.
Frantic and worried that he will be recognized, the bit of string hatches an idea for a disguise.
He starts by rolling around on the ground, to the point he becomes dirty and tattered. Ne...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man is watching the news one day
There is a commercial advertising a weight loss company. It says that you can lose anywhere from 5 pounds to 50 pounds in increments of five and it only cost $10. They said they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee and if you aren’t satisfied you can have a refund.
The man believes that this is...
When i was in school there was this joke floating around.
Ok so i went to a roman catholic school and below is the layout of the foyer of my school from when I was young, the arrow indicates a statue of mother Mary and the direction in which she faces. The longer part of the picture indicates a path leading away from the foyer and the squiggly line indicat...
Superstitious chemist
A superstitious chemist is known for always wearing the same outfit for good luck; she always wears blue-jeans, a t-shirt, tennis shoes, and a yarn necklace with a vial of aldehydes as a pendant. She wears it in lab. She wore it at her graduation ceremonies. Day after day, identical outfits.
...
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