A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.

"I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed and goes...

You've heard the expression 'tit for tat'?

Well I've got more than enough [tat](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/tat). Anyone know where to go to trade it in for my reward?

^Edit: ^was ^not ^aware ^'tat' ^was ^a ^British ^term, ^sorry ^America

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Three Irish men in a pub called says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets". Barman says, "Triplets, how Come you & Pat are six foot tall & Tat is only four foot tall?"

"Well", said Mick, "Me & Pat
were breast fed, so there was no tit for tat".

Tit for Tat

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that student isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" student says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Student says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says,...

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[NSFW] Mary has 3 kids Mat, Pat and Tat

When it was time to feed them, Mat sucked the left tit, Pat sucked the right tit, and so gentlemen, there was no tit for tat.

Tit for tat

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married. The gentleman replied, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."


"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry?"...

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Why did the woman flash the tattoo artist.

It was tit for tat.

See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?

Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!

Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..

Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.

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Irishman Without A Job

My uncle is an old Irishman and retired sheriff for the county. To pass the time during retirement, Uncle Bob has been working with a staffing organization for years. It’s an Irish organization that helps people of Irish descent find work.

One day, Bob gets a call from a young man named Geral...

A lady goes into a tattoo palor...

to get a tat of Elvis on the inside of her thigh.

Her and the artist pick out an Elvis she likes and he goes to work.

When he's finished, she looks down and flips out! "That doesn't look anything thing like Elvis"!

They argue back and forth for a bit, and he tells her he'll do o...

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A woman gets a free tattoo after showing the artist one of her breasts.

It was a tit-for-tat situation.

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Three Irish triplets walk into a bar

Three Irish triplets walk into a bar named Patty, Mick & Tat. Tat makes his way to the bathroom leaving Patty and Mick to order the first round. Mick asks the bartender for 3 pints of Guinness, and whilst he’s pouring he inquisitively asks “are you three triplets?”

“Yes we are” answers Mi...

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I saw a pornstar in public and told her that she was beautiful. She replied that I had a nice tattoo.

It was tit-for-tat.

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A tattoo parlour in my neighborhood is offering a free tattoo to anyone who would flash their boobs.

It’s their Tit for Tat special.

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After seeing my new tattoo, my angered wife retaliated by getting a breast reduction...

tit for tat.

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My wife said I could only get a tattoo, if she gets a boob job.

Seems only fair. Tit for tat.

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A man is sitting alone in a bar

A man is sitting alone in a bar staring at a drink. In walks a surly, tatted up biker. He sees the man sitting alone, walk over, picks up the man’s drink and downs it in one go. He then looks at the man and says, “What are ya gonna do about it, huh?”

The man suddenly starts to break down cry...

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

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If you don't come to my funeral, I'm not going to yours. Simple as that.

tit for tat.

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At our tattoo studio, women can flash their boobs to get a discount

The business model we operate on is "tit for tat".

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What’s it called when a stripper and a tattoo artist trade services?

Tit for tat.

Paddy and Paddy, two Irishmen, went out one day and each bought a pig.

When they got home, Paddy turned to Paddy and said "Paddy, me ol' mate, how are we going to tell who owns which fookin' pig?"

Paddy says "Well Paddy, I'll cut one of te ears off my fookin' pig, and ten we can tell them apart.” “Ah, dat id be grand" says Paddy.

This worked fine until a ...

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Did you hear the one about the breast cancer survivor who got a tattoo??

It was a real tit for tat scenario.

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So this girls comes into my tattoo parlor begging to get live laugh love tattooed on her back

Normally I'd say no but she was pretty hot. Next she says she doesn't have any money.

Her: "I can pay you with my watch?"

Me: "I don't want your fake Rolex. Tell you what. I'll tattoo you if you show me your titties."

Her: "What? No way! I'm not showing you my tits. Ask for some...

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Ink for Pink

For a women to flash her boobs at the tattoo artist for a free inking considered tits-for-tats ?

What did Tweety Bird say when Kat Von D flashed him?

Ooh! I think I saw a tiddy tat!

What do you call it when someone gets their whole face tattooed?

An everlasting job stopper.

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My cheating ex hated tattoos so I decided to get a tattoo on my left boob

That was my tit for tat

A new tattoo studio opened in my neighbourhood which offered free sessions to any women who flashed the artist.

It was called 'Tit for Tat'

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A plastic surgeon and a tattoo artist made a deal, where the surgeon did a breast enhancement operation for free for the tattoo artist, and in return she promised to tattoo the surgeon for free

Tit for tat

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A broke girl goes to get a tattoo

She sits down, chooses the design she wants to get tattooed.

The artist happily obliges and does an amazing job.

Upon being asked for payment the girl tells she has nothing to pay.

Shockingly, the artist says "that's not a problem, just show me a tit and consider it paid, you kn...

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If you’re a tattoo artist who gives free tattoos in exchange for being flashed

Are you then a believer of tit for tat?

Did you hear about that tattoo parlor that charges its patrons by letting the owner cop a feel?

It’s called Tit-For-Tat

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A fugitive is on the run and dips into a taqueria

He looks around the room and the only other patron is a Hispanic fellow with tats and a bandanna so he figures that the coast is clear and this is a good place to hide out for a while. The fugitive goes up to order some food when out of nowhere he gets tackled to the floor by the other patron! "Who ...

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There once was a woman who was quite begat

She had three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat.

She said it was fun in the breeding,

But found it was hell in the feeding.

When she saw there was no tit for Tat.

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I always make women show me their boobs before I show them my body ink

You know the old tit for tat

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A tattooist gropes women breasts in exchange for his services.

His motto: Tit for Tat



Thats a reasonable price

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I saw a woman with a single boob and a beautiful tattoo that took up her entire back

I asked her how she could afford such a tattoo and she looked at me with tears in her eyes "tit for tat"

I'm opening a tattoo shop where I give free tattoos to girls who show me their breast

I'll call it "Tit for tat"

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What did the retaliatory Snapchat premium girl say to the tattoo artist?

Tits for tats?

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A stripper walks into a tattoo parlor...

...And asks the guy if he’ll go tit-for-tat.

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What did the women say to the tattoo artist before flashing him?

Tit for tat?

(I'm sorry in advance. No more internet for me today)

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There once was a broke girl

She really wanted to get a tattoo, so she went to a reputable tattoo artist and begged him to do a piece for free.
He refused to do it, so she offered to show him her boobs for payment.
"You'd be willing to show me your boobs for a tattoo?" The tattoo artist said incredulously.
"Yes,"...

A blonde, brunette, and ginger steal from a bank....

They run and hide in a nearby farm while they're being chased by the cops. The three women hide behind a cow, pig, and potatoes.

The officer crashes through the barn doors and turns on his flashlight to look for the women. He shines the light on the cow where the ginger is and the woman says,...

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Why do hot guys ink themselves?

Because tit for tat

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

Ag I tat Ed.

I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.

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I’ve been trying to convince my wife to get a tattoo of a kitten on her breast.

Just so she could have a “titty tat.”

I have a tattoo of a Russet potato on my right shoulder, and of a Sweet Potato on my left.

They are my Tater Tats

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I'm planning to open a tattoo parlor

Where all women will get free tattoos in exchange for showing me their boobs. I'm gonna call it 'Tit for Tat'

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Irish Joke

Paddy walks into a chemist ,pulls out a small bottle from his pocket, removes the cork and addresses the pharmacist.
"Wid ye mind tastin that fir me"?
The man takes a swig and screws his face up in disgust. "Thats terrible" he says. "So bitter".
Paddy replies with delight "Oh tats good ne...

A blonde chick gets a tattoo...

of a conch shell on her inner thigh.

"Why did you get that tat in that spot" her friend asked her.

"So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean."

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A prostitute went and got some new ink...

...but she didn't have enough money, so it was tit for tat.

[Joke Request] Tell me your sheep jokes.

Hi /r/jokes.

I'm not much of a joke person. I never know any, and I don't even really enjoy them. Sorry.

But I have this (Welsh) friend see, who loves them - and it's become tradition that in between beers, he tells joke after joke while giving me a hard time about not knowing any. We ...

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Suzie and her triplets

Suzy gave birth to triplets and named them Mat , Pat and Tat.

She fed Mat from her left breast and Pat from her right!

Moral : Sometimes there's no Tit for Tat!

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Wife: I'm going to get a tattoo.

Husband: Where at?

Wife: On my chest, above my boobs.

Husband: You should let him touch one, and tell him "tit for tat!"

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A Strip club and a Tattoo parlor teamed up to spread awareness about breast cancer

They call it the Tit for Tat model.

What Did the Statue Say to the Other Statue?

Is-tat-u?

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an old man is at the mall with his daughter

An old man is at the mall with his daughter. he starts to get hungry after a while of walking around he asks his daughter if they can sit down to eat. they go to the food court they get their food sit down and start eating. the old man looks across the way and sees a girl with tattoos piercings and ...

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A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a Turkey and a Pine Tree on her inner thighs...

The artist says, "I'll do it, lady, but I gotta know: why the hell would you want those tatted on either side?"

She says, "Because I'm fucking sick of hearing my husband tell me that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

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My new breast reduction clinic is called ...

Tits for tats.

A guy shows up at the Pearly Gates [Long]

Saint Peter welcomes him and says, "Welcome! Before I let you into heaven, I'd like to look over your life actions to see if you were a good person." The guy agrees and Peter opens his book. Saint Peter looks very concerned one moment, then very confused the next moment, and eventually the guy asks ...

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A judge recently prosecuted a woman for flashing a man to get "new ink done"

It was a case of tit for tat

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