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I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground and being the only adult around, I had to step in.

Little bastards didn’t stand a chance…

Just the other day I was walking down the street when I saw a man being attacked by three masked men, so I had no other choice but to step in.

He didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us.

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I was walking along the other day and stepped in dog shit.

As I was wiping my shoe, I watched another guy also step in it. I said to him "I just did that".

He walked over, punched me in the face and screamed, "You disgusting bastard!".

I saw a bunch of kids trying to throw another kid into a dumpster and I had to step in.

They weren't tall enough to get him over the top.

I saw 3 guys beating someone up today. I knew I had to step in and help.

The little sh!t didn’t stand a chance against the 4 of us.

Saw a group of 4 guys beating up an old guy earlier and decided to step in

He never stood a chance against 5 of us

Saw my ex girlfriend getting beaten up by 5 guys at a bus stop, so as a human being I had to step in and help...

She didn't stand a chance against the 6 of us

How does a squid couple take the next step in their relationship?

They get calimarried

"The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive."

I think they've hired Neymar.

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

My friend had to step in as the lead of Little Shop of Horrors at the last second.

He was Suddenly Seymour.

What's the first step in making Bronco cookies?

Beat em in a bowl for three hours.

Two guys are out hunting deer.

The first guy says "Did you see that?"

“No" the second guy says.

“Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.”

“Oh.”

A couple of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"

“See what?"

“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill,...

Corny joke from a warehouse worker.

Was loading semi trailers and it was raining like hell. Asked my team lead to step inside a trailer with me.

"Hey Billy, I keep hearing a weird noise every time I step in a trailer."

"What's it sound like?"

(While pointing at the roof) "It sounds like autotune."

"Autotune...

An intern recently started working for an IT programming firm.

Everyday he went into work he was always harassed by his peers, they kept saying he was never being true always being false.
#
So I had to step in, I couldn’t let them
keep Boolean him.

Sounds legit

A woman was having a problem with her bedroom closet door. It would fall off the hinges whenever the bus went by. She tried several times to fix it herself,but the door would still fall off when a bus went by.
She finally called a repair man. He showed up, looked over the door and found no probl...

How do you know its raining cats and dogs?

When you step in a poodle.

Man it was really raining cats and dogs today.

Sure hope I don’t step in a poodle.

Why I'm Divorced.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday,' and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.’
I thought …. well, that's marriage for you, but the kids .... they will rememb...

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A man was walkin along a path and spots a thing on the ground

He leans down and says,
"Hmm... It looks like poop".

He then feels it and says,
"it sure feels like poop"

He then smells it and says,
"fuck that shit smells like poop"

He then tastes it and says,
"I'll be dammed that thing is poop, thank god I didn't step in it"
<...

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In honor of tonight’s Lotto, one of my favorite jokes to tell.

A deeply religious man, whom I will call Dave, finds himself in dire financial trouble. He prays earnestly to his God to help him out of his predicament. "God, I'm about to lose my car. Please help me. Let me win the lottery." Lottery night comes, but sadly, Dave is not the winner.

Things go ...

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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, th...

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