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Studied Jokes

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I studied my ass off

And all I got on my hepatitis test was a c

I studied the trends of bike sales

They were cyclical

I studied the cantaloupe joke

I’ve done it! I studied the origin of the cantaloupe joke. Then I then fact checked it into the night, and oh my God, it works on every level! I now present to you, the cantaloupe joke, and why it works.

Why must a melon get married in a church and nowhere else?
…
…
Because, due to i...

I studied communism at school

Got nice Marx

I studied 10 pages of a dictionary

I learnt next to nothing

I studied bees today

I guess you can call it Bee-ology

I studied archeology

Now my life is in ruins.

Scientists studied the gait of inebriated men.

The results were staggering.

I studied Bears in college

I was an Ursa Major.

So, I have this friend who studied to become an egyptologist

The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become egyptologists.

As far as I'm concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.

When I was in college I studied History

But that's all in the past.

Don't make a decision before you have studied all its aspects ! Don't make a decision when you are angry !

An iron company manager, while touring the company noticed a young man leaning against the wall and doing nothing.

He approached him and said softly, "How much is your salary?"

The young man was calm and surprised by the personal question.

He answered, "2500 dollars a month, sir...

While you studied Google fu,

I mastered the arts of tae Qwant do.

Yo mamma so dumb... she studied for

A urine test

Facebook is where you find people who studied with you in school

Twitter is where you find people you wish you studied with in school.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The latest scientific study on polar bears was just published

The study noted that loss of habitat in the north pole has caused some bears to migrate to the south pole, and also a severe increase in the number of manic/depressive symptoms in the bears studied. Due to lowering numbers, many bears were expressing sexual behaviors towards other bears of both sex...

What did Sherlock say as he studied the layers of rock?

Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

I've Studied Various Religions

And here's what I found:

* Christianity was too cross.

* Islam kept dropping bombs on me.

* Buddhism kept repeating itself.

* Hinduism made me have a cow.

* and Judaism made my hair curl.

I studied cognitive development for ten years.

Didn't learn a thing...

I've studied Basic Human Anatomy so much

I know it like the back of my hand.

Why cant you fail a test on glue if you studied for it?

Because the information sticks.

A blonde called her boyfriend and said,

“Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to put it together or how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde said, “ According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decide...

I studied human thought and cuisine in the Middle East.

I earned my bachelor's in Falafelsophy.

I told my job interview that I studied philosophy at school.

He said, "Was that useful?"

I said, "I don't know. Was it?"

2 college friends skip studying for Chemistry final to party

Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the ...

Adam knew he studied hard for his test, but couldn’t figure out where he went wrong.

He had spent almost 2 weeks preparing for this test. If he didn’t get 100%, he would fail chemistry and have to take summer school.

Knowing this, he panicked and furiously scanned the test to find out where he went wrong. Finally he saw the final question marked with an X. “Draw an atom”.
...

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

I studied abroad the first semester of my junior year

Then she closed her blinds

The Gynecologist had become

fed up with his job and decided to change professions. One day after seeing an advertisment for an auto mechanic school on TV, he decided to sign up. The Dr studied very hard and gave it the same level of excelence as he did when practicing medicine.

The day of the final exam came. The Dr had...

A guy named Bob dies and goes to hell

Before him stands the Devil.

"Hello, Bob. Welcome to Hell" the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of hell and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"

"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob

"Level 1 is the hottest...

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There is a rabbi that studied all the religions of the world. He had worked his whole life to experience them all....

He finally had studied and participated in all the world's religions, except for one. There was the small tropical island far away from civilization. This island, the Island of Trid, was populated by the local islanders, the trids. They an idyllic culture. Easy and peaceful living in harmony with th...

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