What does Black Panther say when he sees an unfamiliar bird?

Wakanda bird is this?

Two marines are flying into an unfamiliar airport

The put the flaps up and descend lower, lower, lower and finally touch down. The brakes of the plane screeches and howl unlike anything you've ever heard. The plane comes to a stop just inches from the terminal. The pilot exlaims "that's the shortest damn runway I've ever seen". The co-pilot looks t...

I'm so unfamiliar withe the local gym

I have to call it the *James*

A nun turns her bicycle down an unfamiliar, cobblestone lane.

"Oh, well I've never come this way before."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A pirate walks into a bar, like he does every Saturday.

The bartender, unfamiliar with the pirate’s new look asks, “What happened to you? You look horrible!”

The pirate replies with “I got in a fight with another pirate crew and just barely made it out alive.”

B: “What happened to your hand?”

P: “The captain of the enemy crew chopped...

There was once a 10 year old little boy

Riding his blue bicycle in his mountain town. He hears a strange, unfamiliar bell coming from the top of the nearby mountain. He decides to investigate the next day. He wakes up extra early at 7am and begins his summit to find the bell. He arrives at the top of the mountain after a long 12 hour bike...

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Here’s how you get the perfect prom date.

So you have the girl picked out, maybe not the prettiest to all, but in your eyes, wow. Now maybe not the hardest to get, but she still gives you butterflies talking to her.

Now you can’t simply walk up to her and ask, you gotta be smooth about it. After some thought you decide on flowers an...

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The Alaskan Miner

Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.

He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.

"Firstly...

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A pianist is applying for a job playing piano in a fancy restaurant.

So the manager takes him up to the piano and says 'OK show me what you can do'

The pianist says

'Sure, but the music might be unfamiliar to you because I only play my own compositions'

The manager says

'That's no problem, take it away'

The pianist begins to play ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man of the cloth was touring the country preaching.

He stopped at an unfamiliar hotel chain for the night and asked for a room. He took his room key and told the young woman working behind the front desk, "There better be bibles in the nightstand and the porn channels disabled."

She looked shocked and responded "No! They're normal you pervert!...

A plane with a Redditor on it goes down in the middle of the wilderness.

As he scrambles out of the wrecked plane, anxiety sets in. He is completely lost and has no idea where he is.



Thinking fast, he takes a picture of his unfamiliar surroundings and uploads it to r/jokes. Refreshing the page, he sees his post and lets out a sigh of relief.


<...

The World Expert on Wasps

A man was walking down a quiet street, when something caught his eye in the window of a charity shop. He wandered over to take a closer look, then smiled to himself, nodded, and entered the shop.

He walked up to the counter and said to the man serving there, "Is that record in the window real...

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So how about a real joke about Bulgarians for a change?

A flying saucer beams up a German engineer, an Indian guru and a Bulgarian. The three of them are informed by an alien in a lab coat that standard procedure when contacting an unfamiliar species is to subject them to the standardized intergalactic intelligence test.

"You will be put in an air...

A young boy overhead his parents call his uncle an alcoholic...

Unfamiliar with the term, the young boy later on he asked his father, "Dad, what is an alcoholic?"

So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."

The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."

Three men die on the same day, at the same time, at the same hotel

They are brought to the devil and all three insist that he is an innocent victim.

The first guys says, " I was staying with my wife in room 606. When I got back from work and opened the door, I noticed an unfamiliar set of men's shoes. My wife was out, so this must be a theif. I looked around...

The European Vacation

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob at...

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A man calls his home while on a business trip.

(I translated this joke from my native language so bear with me)

An unfamiliar voice answers the phone.
Man: "Who is this?"
Answer comes, "A am the maid."
Man: "What? there was no maid when i left a couple of days ago."
Maid: "I was hired yesterday and started working just...

A couple driving to Disney World...

...saw signs for the nearby town of Kissimmee. Being unfamiliar with the area, they debated whether it is pronounced KISSimmee or kissIMMee or kissimmEE. The debate turned into an argument and they decided that when they got to the town they would ask one of the locals.

So they pulled into a...

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A guy at work calls his wife at home

and an unfamiliar female voice answers the phone. The man asks,

"Who is this?"

"I am the maid."

"Since when have we had a maid?"

"I was hired by the woman of the house this morning."

The man is surprised that his wife would hire a maid without consulting him first ...

"NSFW" "Long" A young man wants to effectively lose weight...

...so he buys a subscription to a company that he thinks is going to help him. He's unfamiliar with their methods so he is surprised when his doorbell rings suddenly on the following day. He opens the door and standing there is a smoking hot 21 year old girl with nothing on her body but pink running...

At the funeral of Hector Dewey

At the funeral of Hector Dewey, an insanely rich man, hundreds of people showed up, enjoying the cake and everything laid out there, a large number of them pretending to be family.

Hector's second-eldest son, Jeffrey, notices a lot of unfamiliar faces. He goes up his older brother, Dwight, th...

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Jewish jokes

(Just a few of my favorites)

A man is getting ready to get married to a very Orthodox wife, and he goes to her rabbi for help. He's recently converted and very unfamiliar with Jewish weddings.
"Rabbi, for the wedding, do I sit with my wife?"
"No, the men sit with the men and the women ...

Mr. and Mrs. Finkelstein

have just moved from their primitive shtetl home in Europe to a modern, state-of-the art apartment in New York. They are totally unfamiliar with all the necessities of the modern home.

Mrs. Finkelstein goes to the bathroom to wash her hands and is taken aback by the mirror, having never seen ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Fancy Restaurant

A hillbilly finds himself in an unfamiliar part of town and he's hungry. He pulls his rust bucket into the parking lot of a restaurant and approaches the front door with his sleeveless tee-shirt, holey ripped jeans, shaggy beard, do-rag, and tattoos but he's stopped by the Maitre'D before he can en...

An elderly couple's road trip around south east England

*(Note for those unfamiliar with the British road network: 'A' roads are main, or arterial, roads and they are all identified by 'A' and a number.)*


An elderly man is driving his wife on a road trip around the south east of England. Shortly after getting on to the A2, a police car signals...

Southern Justice

While traveling in unfamiliar territory, a lawyer ran a stop sign and got pulled over by a small town sheriff.

The lawyer thinks for a minute and decides that he can talk his way out of a ticket. After all, he assumes that he must be much better educated than the southern sheriff.

Th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Spotted on Facebook

Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper?
Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arb...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Uncle told me this joke when I was 7

While staying in an unfamiliar town, A guy goes into a dingy bar and starts knocking a few down. After a couple of hours and many drinks, he notices a huge jar on a shelf behind the bar full of $50 notes. He calls the bartender over and asks "Wtf is that jar full of $50 for?". The bartender moves th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Irishman, stricken with severe insomnia, decides he needs go for a late night walk..

Figures it’d be best if he got some fresh air and such, as he highly doubts that he'll be falling asleep anytime soon. So, he slips into his boots, throws on a jacket, and heads out the door. Not 5 minutes later, he comes across a freshly painted white picket-fence that leads to an unfamiliar bar on...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My favorite "yo mama" jokes (from an /r/Askreddit thread)

01) Your momma is so unfamiliar with the gym that she calls it James.

02) Your mom's so ugly your dad takes her to work with him everyday so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

03) Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

04) Yo mama's so slutty, she got fired from th...

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