It's a bit eerie how my girlfriend looks like my mother

I guess its true what they say though, "like mother like daughter"

An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.

As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.

Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.

"Uncanny!" He thought. "I...

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Yesterday, I got one of those extremely authentic, hyper-realistic sex dolls- and she’s so life-like it’s almost eerie!

For instance, as soon as I got her home last night she told me we should just be friends...

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before ...

I ordered a soda and it started groaning in an eerie voice...

When I asked the cashier what was up with my large coke she said "Oh sorry, I thought you ordered a medium."

What do you call an eerie French pastry chef?

A crepe.

An Aussie walks into a British pub...

An Aussie walks into a British pub, saunters up to the bar and orders two beers: one for him and one for his four-legged friend. As the barman places the beers on the counter he glances at the beast lying at the Aussie's feet. The barman raises one eyebrow and says "That is surely the ugliest dog I...

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3 Boys and a Haunted House

Three boys were standing in front of an old abandoned house in their neighborhood. There was a rumor going around that the place was haunted.

"I'm not going in there. Fuck that." Said the first boy.

"You pussy. I aint scared of nothing." Said the second boy. So he slipped inside the ho...

Han Solo is chilling in his room when suddenly the light goes out.

He tries to fix the bulb, but after an hour of laborious effort, he gives up.

He heads over to Yoda's place to see if he can help. As Yoda opens the door, he spots a huge machine with flashing lights, beeping in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" he asks Yoda.

"A cloning m...

When Beethoven died, he was buried in a churchyard.

The town drunk was passing by, when he heard some eerie music. Afraid, he called the priest to tell him what happend. The priest investigated and summoned the town magistrate. The town magistrate listened and said:
“It’s his Ninth Symphony... backwards.” Then, his Eighth Symphony, his seventh his...

A young man was walking his date home ...

when they passed by a graveyard. The dusk was settling in and as the shadows were creeping, she locked her arm in his. He turned and asked, "A bit eerie isn't it?"

"Yes, isn't it."

As his hand slides around her waist, he asks, "Getting creepy isn't it?"

She says, "Yes isn't it...

The Wong Brothers

In ancient China lived the Wong brothers, three wise men who studied the arts of magic. Wong Wan could create beautiful tapestries with the tiniest bit of thread, and Wong Tsu could miraculously make crops grow in barren soil. Wong Lee, however, was much more sinister than his brothers. His magic co...

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There was once a competition involving three gruelling tasks.

The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:

1)Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go.

2)Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.

3)And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.

Many peop...

Cinderella was now 95 years old....

Cinderella was now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now-dead prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

Ci...

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A homicidal rapist is holding hands with a little girl.

They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to re...

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A guy is lost in the jungle

...and is trying to find his way out. While he's wandering, he suddenly hears footsteps and cries behind him. He turns around and sees a group of savage tribesmen running towards him with spears in their hands.

The guy absolutely freaks out and starts running through any gap he sees between t...

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A Strange Date

A young man, out on the tiles with his mates, spies the girl of his Dreams across a dance floor.

Having admired her from afar, he finally gets up the courage to talk to her.

Everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening. ...

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The Secret of the Monastery

One night, a young man got lost in the woods while out hunting. As he walked to and fro to find a familiar landmark, he stumbled upon a very old and dreary looking building. He banged at the wooden double doors and called out, "Help please! I am lost! Could you help me?"

The door opened with ...

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A man approaches the ticket counter at a train station, and notices that he and the attendant have matching black eyes...

The man approaches the ticket counter, and says "Hey, look at that buddy, we've got matching shiners! How'd you get yours?"

The ticket attendant replies, "Oh man, it's the damndest thing... this beautiful woman came up to the counter just SPILLING out of her shirt. Instead of saying 'Here's ...

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Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?

Three archaeologists are investigating a site deep in the jungles of Africa when they get caught by the jungle's tribesmen.

They are brought to the village where the village elder asks the first one.
"Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?"
Fearing the worst, the first archeologist chooses Ka-bo-chi.<...

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Good Polish Joke

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since

I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
...

Quasimodo passed away

After years of hanging out in the bell tower, Quasimodo got drunk and careless and slipped over a rail, falling to his death one cold night.

The cathedral HR department put out a posting to get a replacement for him, but due to the eerie nature of the bell tower, they only got one response - ...

Last night there was a total eclipse of the sun...

It was quite an eclipse. The earth's shadow blocked out the sun completely. It got very dark. The temperature dropped. It was eerie. But, after a few hours, I got tired and went inside to sleep.

I hear that there will be another one tonight and every evening next week.

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