I was sitting at a stoplight yesterday, minding my own business...

...when a carload of gun toting, young and very loud tea partiers, shouting anti-Obama, anti-Muslim slogans, with a Gadsden flag duct taped on the trunk and a confederate flag taped to the hood, "All I need to know about Islam, I learned on 9/11" spray painted to the side, pulled up and stopped next...

I was sitting at the stoplight when a drop dead gorgeous woman pulled up next to me and rolled her window down. I rolled my window down and smiled at her . . .

She said, “What? Did you fart too?”

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. [Long joke]

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls.
"Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo! "
The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Ye...

Why did the stoplight turn red?

Well, wouldn't you turn red if you were caught changing in the middle of the street?

Why did the stoplight turn red?

Well, you would too, if you had to change in front of that many people!

One day a man is at a stoplight and sees a car with penguins in the backseat next to him.

The man asks the driver of the car where the penguins were from.

'I don't know. At the last stop light these penguins just jumped in my car. I don't know what to do with them.

The man thinks for a moment and then says 'You should take them to the zoo.'

'That's a great idea!' s...

What did the stoplight say to the car?

Don't look, I'm changing!

How can we beat an AI invasion

we wear stoplights

A rich man buys a new Lamborghini.

It's the most expensive car in the world, and he wants to show it off, so he takes it out for a spin.

At the first stoplight, an ancient Moped pulls up next to him. The elderly cyclist stares at the sleek, shiny surface of the automobile and asks, "What kinda wheels ya got there, sonny?"
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Ferrari and the Moped

A man saves up his entire life to buy a ferrari. He goes to the dealership and chooses a red one. As he pulls out of the parking lot he comes to a red light. As he is waiting for the light to change he sees a fat kid pull up next to him on a moped. The kid grins at him showing his puffy cheeks and s...

20 Tons of Canaries

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door.
After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Girl, police officer, and Santa

A little girl is riding her bicycle down the street when she comes up to a stoplight. A cop on a horse pulls up next to her and says, "Nice bike you got there. Did you get it from Santa?" The little girl says "yes." The cop gives her a ticket and says "Next year, tell him to put reflectors on the bi...

My girlfriend is a real go-getter...

Nothing’s gonna stop her. Not blindness, not stoplights...

A priest is giving a nun a ride home after mass one day...

As they come to a stoplight the priest rests his hand on the nuns knee. The nun says "Father remember Luke 14:10", and the priest removes his hand from her knee. A little while later they come to a stop again and he places his hand on her thigh, she again says "Father remember Luke 14:10", he quickl...

Last night

I was driving home from work when a BMW pulled up next to me at a stoplight. The driver, a dark skinned man with a thick bushy beard, started screaming and flipping me off. He yelled something like "I love snack bars." I couldn't quite understand him over his passengers yelling "death to America" a...

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