Brake Light Jokes

I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Credit to Steven Wright.

One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.

Then breaking through the flu... read more

After the mechanic finishes with the oil change, she comes out to talk to the man.

"Well, I'm all done with the oil change, but I did notice something, it looks like your brake light fluid needs to be replaced."

The man responds, "Oh, I don't think I've ever had that changed before. Go... read more

Just like there are brake lights for the brake pedal, there are also gaslights for the gas pedal. No, I didn't make that up, everyone has them. I swear. Have you ever read the owners manual? Everyone knows about them, I'm surprised that you don't. How do not know about the gaslighting?

A guy driving a motorhome is stopped by a cop. The cop walks up to the window and tells the guy he stopped him because he had a brake light out. The guy jumps out of the motorhome, goes to the back, looks and starts crying. The cop says, "Chill out dude. It's only a brake light ticket"

Th... read more

Farmer Joe is driving to town in his pickup truck and he gets pulled over by a state trooper.

The state trooper walks up to the door and says “Sir you have a brake light out and I am going to write you a ticket, license registration and insurance please”. While the Trooper is writing out fa... read more

A man was driving his wife home after a night out, when they were stopped by the police. “Sir, did you know you were speeding?” asked the officer. “No, I had no idea that I was speeding,” replied the husband. “Of course you were,” interrupted the wife, “you’re always speeding.” The officer looked at... read more