European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.

They're in bread.

How does a Welsh man pleasure himself at the cliff edge with a pair of large Wellington boots?

He puts the back legs of a sheep into his boots and walks towards the edge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dwarf lady goes to the doctors complaining about a pain down below.

She sits down and says to the doctor “I have a terrible pain in my vagina!”

The doctor looks at her for a minute then grabs a pair of scissors. He works away near her vagina for a couple of minutes and then exclaims “There you go. If you would like to stand up for me.”

She stands up an...

A step to far

Bill Clintons and George Bush go out for lunch when the waitress comes over to take the order she's a bit flustered and has to say that she was a big fan of George when he was in his chair as president and she voted for him and she supported him the whole way she said I'll be right back to take your...

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Sex after Surgery

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"

Mother Theresa looks down into hell from heaven...

She sees them getting ready for dinner. It's a feast, beef Wellington, shrimp, twice baked potatoes, wine, champagne, and a million different desserts.

Just then God came by and asked, "Are you hungry? I'm making tuna fish sandwiches if you'd like one."

MT: "Um, ok, sure."

The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer has a new handsome assistant

A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)
He tells his assistant to go get the boots from the house. The ass...

A butcher in London...

So there's a butcher who lives in one of the more run down neighbourhoods of London. As such, he constantly has to deal with petty thieves trying to steal meat out of his shop. He's not an educated man, but he becomes quite crafty in protecting his livelihood. One day, the Duke of Wellington passes ...

Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door....

but his girlfriend was dead against it.

Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand

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