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Wellington Jokes

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after Surgery

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in .

A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"

What did the beef wellington say to its father that is also its grandfather?

I'm inbred

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor and his wife were playing golf at the local country club.

While on the 1st tee, his wife drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor was amazed and exclaimed, "Wow! I've never seen you hit the ball this well before!" His wife replied, "Well, I took lessons."

A couple of days later, the doctor and his wife were on the tennis cour...

European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.

They're in bread.

What's the difference between a beef wellington and an asteroid?

One is meaty and the other is a little meteor!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s a rainy Tuesday and a dwarf lady runs into a doctors office in tears.

She sobs and tells the doctor “I can’t stand it any more, every time it rains I get a terrible pain in my crotch! Can you help me?”

The doctor is rightly baffled by this, so he asks the lady to get on the table so he can examine her. Straight away he says “Ah I can see the issue, and I’m sure...

A butcher in London...

So there's a butcher who lives in one of the more run down neighbourhoods of London. As such, he constantly has to deal with petty thieves trying to steal meat out of his shop. He's not an educated man, but he becomes quite crafty in protecting his livelihood. One day, the Duke of Wellington passes ...

Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door....

but his girlfriend was dead against it.

Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand

Mother Theresa looks down into hell from heaven...

She sees them getting ready for dinner. It's a feast, beef Wellington, shrimp, twice baked potatoes, wine, champagne, and a million different desserts.

Just then God came by and asked, "Are you hungry? I'm making tuna fish sandwiches if you'd like one."

MT: "Um, ok, sure."

The ...

A step to far

Bill Clintons and George Bush go out for lunch when the waitress comes over to take the order she's a bit flustered and has to say that she was a big fan of George when he was in his chair as president and she voted for him and she supported him the whole way she said I'll be right back to take your...
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