A guy walks into the doctors office with a stomach ache

Doctor says :"Sir, you have worms in you intestines."

Patient freaks out :"what do I do doc?! Get them out of me!!"

Doc replies: "there is only one solution for that, get a watermelon, cut it in half and sit on it. Their leader will come down, taste it and tell the others to come out a...

Don't think your husband is cheating on you!! It's not a good...

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell the husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: "excuse me my d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy Bob calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

The boss says, "You know Billy Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later, Billy Bob calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and feel great. I be at wor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once Abdul's wife had a severe stomach ache..

He tried Google, asked his friends and relatives, but no respite from the pain for his wife. Finally, someone suggested to him a reputed Gastroenterologist, and he called him.

Abdul: "Doctor! Please help my wife. She has a severe stomach ache, and I tried everywhere, and nothing is helping. W...

How do you know when an Irishman has a stomach ache?

He’ll be Dublin over

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor because I had a stomach ache and he said I was constipated

I was like, “huh, no shit?”

Every time my mom burns my grilled cheese sandwich I get a stomach ache...

I guess I’m black toast intolerant.

A man walks into his Doctor's appointment and complains of a stomach ache.

"Is it bad? How long have you had it?" asks the doctor.

"It hurts a lot, and I've had it about a week now. I've tried my usual remedies, but nothing has worked."

"Alright," the doctor replies, "We'll run some tests then and I'll call you in a few days to come back once the results are ...

What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache?

I falafel.

I had a stomach ache...

My SO asked what's wrong,
I said "I have a clog in my intestines"
she responds with "you need to stop eating shoes"

Headache

Pardon if there are any grammatical errors.

Kid - Dad, I have a severe stomach ache.

Dad - Well you haven't eaten your meal.
Your stomach is empty, that is why you have a stomach ache.

Kid - Oh, so empty stomach gives you stomach ache, now I know why you always complain of a ...

Corona Virus Symptoms Basically Are The Same Feelings You Get When Your Wife Is Checking Your Phone

-Difficulty In Breathing -Sweating Profusely

-Weakness

-Headache

-Stomach Ache

And when you are asked a question the dry cough starts.

What does a Jew, in Poland with a Stomach ache have?

The Auschits

Little Johnny is complaining to his mother early in the morning

'Mum, I have a stomach ache...'

'Don't worry, honey,' says the mother. 'It's only aching because you have an empty stomach.'

Little Johnny acknowledges this and calms down. In the evening, Little Johnny's parents welcome an esteemed guest: the Under Secretary of Interior. During the co...

Helpful Daughter

Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."


That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.

Susie ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Never act "Too Smart"

Wife was so sure that her husband was cheating on her with the maid. So she planned and sent the maid off early that day and soon the night fell, The wife and her husband were in the bedroom trying to get some sleep while she waits cautiously for his actions.

As she expected, he gives the sam...

Big Chief

There once was a great Native Village Chief, named Akimbe, living in the peacefulness America had to offer. One day, he fell victim to an awful stomach ache, so he decided to consult the village Medicine Man.

"Big Chief no fart!" Said the Chief.

"Take this herbal remedy" said the Medic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Crap happens

Called in sick to work cause I had a stomach ache and felt constipated.

Got fired.

Couldn't give a crap even if I wanted to.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The fastest thing...

Science teacher asks the kids, what is the fastest thing they know.

Timmy: Electricity!

Teacher: Why? Tell us?

Timmy: Whenever I press the light switch in my room, it takes less than a second to be on.

Teacher: Good example Timmy.


Fred: A lightning!

Teac...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.