UPJOKE
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I took the HOV lane underground, when suddenly my hands started cramping on the steering wheel.

Must be my carpool tunnel syndrome.

Actually happened to me.

Sitting in class Monday going over American Sign Language the instructor is explaining the hand position to a fellow student who is blind(er than I am), my hands starts cramping, as I shake it out I can’t stop laughing.

Professor “What is so funny?”

Mr “Do deaf people with arthritis ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bank robber swallows a million dollars

Desperate and on the run from the police, a bank robber forces his entire million dollar haul down his gullet and calmly walks home.

The next day he is suffering from extreme cramping and his pain becomes worse throughout the day. In the end he cannot take it anymore and presents himself to ...

I just got my period while I was thrift shopping

It really cramping my style.

So it's that time of the month,

And my wife says to me: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but cramping is your uterus shedding its lining, right?"

Laying on the couch in pain, I reply: "Yes, it's the muscles literally cramping to break up the lining and pass it... It's a weird flex but it's okay."

She's not happy with me rig...

A young man went in to a restaurant and ordered a standard eggs, bacon, toast and coffee breakfast. The server told him they were out of bread, would he like a biscuit...

So he got the biscuit instead. After eating, he headed home, but started to feel bad. His stomach was cramping and he was gassy. Why?


He was Lack Toast Intolerant!


You've been Dad joked on Father's day! Happy father's day fellow dad's!

Jack was dying of old age...

...and he was on his death bed. suddenly a delicious smell wafted into the room, a smell Jack knew all too well. "Oh, my loving wife, she knows I am dying and she's cooking my absolute favorite, fresh chocolate chip cookies!"

Shaking badly, he rolls out of bed and lands on the floor, disloca...

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