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Stations Jokes

Two English gentlemen are commuters, using the Tube to the City. They get on and off at the same stations, and having done it for years they occasionally nod greetings or even exchange a “good morning.”

One of them looked really unhappy one day and the other said “I know we haven’t been introduced but if you don’t mind me saying it you do look a bit peaky.”
“My false teeth are killing me.”
“Hmmm. If you let me have a good look I may be able to help you.”
“Oh please do...”
“Give me a da...

I remember when I was a kid and air pumps at gas stations were free, now they cost a quarter

Damn inflation

i have been chasing a criminal who murders at railway stations

i think i am on the right track

Prague just installed new Covid-19 testing stations.

They named them Czech points.

Kids today are way too expensive. Now days they want iPads and PlayStations.

They used to just get in the van if you offered them candy.

The UK just passed a law so that corporations have to post earnings statements in public spaces to be accessible, like in parks, metro stations, high-density residential areas...

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

Why don't fire stations have poles any more?

Brexit.

If cars were replaced by horses, what would replace gas stations?

Grass stations

Why are middle eastern news stations so entertaining?

There’s always something new blowing up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did I tell you about my trick for getting to the front of the line at gas stations?

I call it my gas trick bypass.

God and Jesus are playing a game on their PlayStations.

God and Jesus are playing a game on their PlayStations. Jesus gets a text from Lucifer that he wants to join them online. Jesus asks God if that's okay. God knows that it won't work because Lucifer plays on X-box.

He tells Jesus that Lucifer isn't cross-compatible.

Why don't you see mumble rappers at gas stations?

You can't fuel up your car with a Lil' Pump.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Soon after 9/11, an Arab leaves behind a suitcase at a train station

Standing nearby is a blond-haired blue-eyed white man who immediately notices this. He walks up to the suitcase and the zipper's not completely closed, so he takes a peek inside.

He sees electronic gizmos, what looks like a timer, and a huge pile of cash. He grabs the suitcase and chases down...

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