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[NSFW] I've been working from home lately and I find my motivation is a lot like masturbation...

...It comes and goes in spurts.

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Four men are stranded on a deserted island

After wandering for days, they finally come upon a small shack in the distance. Unsure of its safety, one friend volunteers to investigate while the other three stay behind.

Taking a deep breath, the bravest of the friends walks through the front door and finds a witch waiting for him.
...

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A married couple are out golfing.

The husband slices his tee shot into the trees. They find the ball resting behind an oak. The man is about to chip out onto the fairway when his wife, standing a few feet behind, stops him. "Honey, from here I can see the flagstick. Why not try to reach the green?" He takes a look, decid...

Old farmer Joe is checking on his chickens

He notices that one of his chickens, Betty, is producing more eggs than any other chicken on the farm. What’s even more interesting is that they all look identical: same little freckle on the top, same patterns, even exactly the same colour! “This really is unusual,” he exclaims, and decides to inve...

An 11 year old boy is walking down the hall of his house at night and hears screaming from his parent's bedroom. He opens the door and sees his dad standing there with a wig on in assless chaps with his mom on the bed in cheerleading outfit...

An 11 year old boy is walking down the hall of his house at night and hears screaming from his parent's bedroom. He opens the door and sees his dad standing there with a wig on in assless chaps with his mom on the bed in cheerleading outfit...

"Daddy!? What is going on?!" the kid spurts out, ...

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A man is ready to do it for the first time [NSFW]

He walks into a pharmacy late at night and goes to the counter, approaching the girl standing on the other side. "Do you have any condoms?" He asks her. "Yes, we have a few kinds. This is our best." She presents him with a blue box and says "Do you know how to use them?" He shakes his head. "Follow ...

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Hot Coffee...

HOT COFFEE



Gotta love those grand-kids ..



I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,

“What day is tomorrow?"

Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"

She's smart, so I asked her "What does Presi...

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Three old men are sitting around the nursing home talking about how much it sucks getting old.

The first old guy says, "Every morning at 6 am I wake up and try to piss, but no matter how long I stay there or how hard I try, I can only dribble a few spurts of piss out."

The second old guy replies, "Oh yeah? Well, every morning at 6 am I wake up and need to take a shit, but even if I si...

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(Job interview) What your biggest flaw?

Guy walks into a job interview and, sure enough, the inevitable "what's your biggest flaw" question comes along.

- 'honesty', he replies.

Being used to this sort of answer, the interviewer replies:

- "well, honesty is not really a flaw, so...."

Without missing a heartbeat...

Why is employee scheduling so difficult to get right for a brothel?

The customers tend to come in spurts.

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