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Binge Jokes

What did Snoop say Dr. Dre while binge watching their favorite TV show?

Are you ready for the next episode?

I’m binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons

Guess it’s some sort of running joke

OC - What's the binge show of choice for chubby pre-med cows

Graze Anatomy

Why did the Twizzler go binge drinking?

It was feeling liquor-ish

What do you call a 2020 binge of the Kill Bill movies?

Rentin' Quarantino

Some old college friends asked if I still binge drink

I said I couldn't even remember the last time I blacked out

A blonde wants to make some money

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to p...

What do you call an alcoholic on a two week binge?

Fired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Drunk and a priest

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a ...

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A drunk stumbles into a confessional...

A drunk stumbles into a confessional after a midday binge. The priest, hearing the commotion on the other side of the divider, assumes the man is having quite the crisis and patiently waits for him to sit down and begin.



After a few moments of silence, to encourage the man to begin hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 25 y.o. goes to her therapist...

Patient: "Doctor, I feel so bad lately, since I got my first raise at work, I can't stop taking cash outta my bank account and then go buy a bunch of useless stuff...

Doctor: "Hmm, can you describe more precisely how you are feeling?"

Patient: "Well, I get such a high when I take the m...

After binge watching CNN, fox, and msnbc - simultaneously - for nearly two days - a man decided he would hang himself in protest of the media's lack of integrity...

Thankfully was unsuccessful. The rope broke.

He probably would be dead right now if not for that fake noose.

I only have two new years resolutions. One: to lose the weight I gained since the accident.

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

I had plans to get together with a buddy of mine who's a clock hobbyist, but he never showed up.

When I asked him where he was he said he was busy binge watching.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man named Ted is unable to put alcohol down.

His thirst for liquor is unquenchable. All he does every day is drink and drink. Rum, tequila, beer, vodka, he has it all. Doesn't matter how it tastes or looks; he'll down it.

At first it started out at a simple party at Dominc's place. His best bud, Bob, invited him so he couldn't say no. P...

I’ve been trying to watch how much I drink

I call it binge-watching

A new redditor comes to r/jokes

"Welcome!" Exclaims r/jokes.

"Hi," says the redditor, "tell me a funny joke please."

"Alright. Let me see what i can find." Replys r/jokes before heading off

While the redditor waits they, binge the entirety of Game of Thrones, watch the entire extended directors cut of...

I want to go see the new Purge movie...

But I have to binge on the first two...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

panda

So this panda is tired of hanging around the zoo and decides one night, when his cage is accidently left open, that he's going to do what people do.

Being after dark, he's heads to the bar for some good 'ol fashion binge drinkin'

So this panda bear is sitting at the bar drinking some b...

A priest is riding on a city bus when...

A priest is riding on a city bus when a drunk gets on and sits next to him. He obviously hasn't had a bath while on this binge. The drunk starts reading a newspaper, then puts it down and says, " Hey, Father, what do you think causes arthritis?". The priest is quite annoyed with this guy, and sharp...

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