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Uptick Jokes

We’ll probably see an uptick in write in votes for “Shakira’s hips” during this years election.

They - for one - at least do not lie

World's greatest stock trader retires

Jack Thompson was the most famous stock trader on Wall Street. His funds had made money, in good markets and bad, for decades. Finally ready to retire, he was going to reveal his secrets in an exclusive interview. "What are your tricks?" Asked the reporter. "I've got only one secret. Years ago I not...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man receives a call from the hospital letting him know his wife was in an accident.

Upon arriving at the hospital the doctor informs him that his wife is in a coma and they cannot be sure when she will wake up.

Distraught, the husband asks, "Is there nothing we can do?"

The doctor replies, "Well, we have had some success with oral sex bringing people out of comas in t...

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