If a joke's over your head it's a "whoosh". But if a joke crashes and dies horribly,

That's a "Boeing".

People on reddit are dumb

They always say "whoosh" whenever I correct others mistakes

A man takes the day off of work to go golfing

A man takes the day off work to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.



He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit, 9 iron."



The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.



"Ribbit,...

A guy walks into a bar

And walks over to the bartender. He notices some beautiful piano music coming from one side of the bar, but he can’t see the stereo or the piano anywhere. So he asks the bartender “hey where is that music coming from?”

The bartender says “check the end of the bar.”

So the guy walks ove...

A broken English speaker told a joke to a boy.

The broken English speaker, a man, told the boy a joke about a sword-fighting pirate that desperately hated the wind.

However, the boy, being so young, missed the joke.

“No, no, no,” said the man. “Arr slash whoosh.”

Moses and Jesus are in a rowboat on the Red sea talking about the "good ole days".

Moses says "I wonder if I still got it?". He stands up, raises his hands to the sky and, WHOOSH! The sea parts. He lowers his hands, sits down and the water crashes down and returns to a calm. Jesus says "oh yeah? Watch this!". He kicks off his sandals stands up and leaps over the side of the boa...

What a horrible way to die

Two guys meet up in a bar.

The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jewish Samurai

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.

A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke for the older generations

So there once was this women by the name of Marge, who could never seem to snag a man to stay by her side for more than a year! She had many husband and would bear many kids with each husband. By the end of her fertility period she had given birth to a 100 kids! In order to remember all their names ...

Wishing Well

English is second language.... excuse grammar

My penny went whoosh whoosh down the wishing well
I was happy. Everyone around screaming. I threw quarter down, made wish, and now everyone mad about my wife penny

One wish

Two Irishmen go on a cruise. Halfway through their vacation the ship wrecks, and the two Irishmen escape on a lifeboat. They floated about for a couple days, hoping to be rescued. On the third day one of the men notices a bottle floating near the lifeboat.
"Wouldn't it be cool if there were a ge...

The new bull

Three bulls are standing around overlooking a field full of cows when they overhear the farmer tell one of the cowhands to get the trailer ready to pick up a new bull.
The old bull snorts and says, "I'm a tellin' ya what, there ain't but fifty cows here that are mine and if'n that new bull thinks...

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