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Spinning Jokes

I love that the Earth is spinning

It literally makes my day

"Dad, why is the Earth spinning?"

"Oh you little rascal, you took a sip of my beer, didn't you?"

Back in high school..

...I was a huge metal fan. In math class, I had an 8/10 girl next to me, she turns me on so much. I always try really hard to impress her, she's so hot. The teacher starts passing back last weeks test, and 8/10 looks at me, smiles, and starts playing with her hair. I can't handle it, I start spinnin...

What's the fastest spinning country?

France, because it has the most revolutions per minute.

What do you call a spinning potato

Rotato

Why was Benjamin spinning around and sleepy?

Because Benadryl

What do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles?

Stop laughing and untie him from the ceiling fan

Why don't more men take spinning classes?

Because guys don't want to be a around a bunch of women on their cycle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought I wouldn’t like masturbating while spinning in my desk chair.

But I’m coming around to it.

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What's the hardest part about fidget spinning?

Telling your parents you're gay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Went to a club with the wife and there was a guy on the dance floor going mental - twerking, breakdancing, spinning, moonwalking, back flips, the whole lot . My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

I said, "By the looks of it, he’s still fucking celebrating!”

What's worse than attaching a baby to a washing line and spinning it around at 100mph?

Stopping it with a shovel.

If my grandmother knew how much money i spent on her funeral

She'd be spinning in her ditch

Two men standing on opposite sides of a windmill disagree about which way the blades are spinning.

The man in front insists they’re going clockwise. The man behind says no, it’s obvious they’re going counter-clockwise. After a while, they agree to look at it from each other’s perspective. They realize that they were both right, it’s all a matter of perspective.

The moral of the story is th...

What do you call Bob Ross spinning around in circles at a theatre play?

Aphrodisiac

Why was Jesus hanging around the spinning teacups carnival ride?

He was taking away the sins of the whirled

Propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool.

When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.

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What does watching golf and a giant spinning dildo have in common?

They both bore the fuck out of you.

My Car spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of people

And My Korean friend screams "Hit the Blakes" & I'm like "I can't be that selective"

Young boy: Mommy, Mommy I can't stop spinning in circles!

Mommy: Shut up, or I will nail your other foot to the floor too!

An airplane's propeller is just a big fan, and its purpose is to keep the pilot's cool.

Need proof?

Watch how much they "sweat" when it stops spinning!

My first job was as a sign spinner for a peep-show. I was supposed to stand on the corner and attract attention by spinning a sign or acting crazy...

...whatever it took to keep the customers cummin'.

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What do you call a spinning, bisexual dinosaur that loves Juno & Superbad?

Biceratops

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Woman comes home and tells her husband...

"Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" The husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headach...

How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?

One to screw the lightbulb and several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.

What are the propellers on an aircraft for?

They work the Air conditioner.
Cause when the propellers stop spinning, the pilot starts sweating.

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3 men are granted 3 wishes

3 men stumble upon a lamp and they rub it, and out comes a genie. The genie says

"I will grant each of you 3 wishes."

The first man thinks long and hard, and then says

"I want to have a million dollars"

The genie snaps his fingers and poof, the man now has a million dol...

I went on a date with a red head once.

It was going smoothly and we talked for a long while over some beers. She kept spinning her hair around her finger and looked at me smiling. I took it as a good sign but turns out it was just a red hair ring.

What do you call Michael J. Fox spinning around in a chair?

A fidget spinner

A blind man walks into a bar with his looking dog , and on entering picks the dog up and starts spinning the dog

Bartender asks- WTF you doing?
Man- I am just looking around.

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The Bravest and Fiercest

The king was getting old and did not trust his sons to rule his kingdom after his passing. He decided that he must find a husband for his daughter. This man, who would one day take the throne, had to be the bravest and fiercest warrior in all the land.

The king devised a test. his engineers ...

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