UPJOKE
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Speedos Jokes

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian speedos?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

A woman walked up to me at the swimming pool and said she could see something bulging in my Speedos.

When I looked down at my crotch she said, "No, the other side..."

Frank and Ollie go to the beach wearing Speedos...

FRANK: Hey Ollie, you know why we have these new Speedos, right?
OLLIE: No, why? They are tight.
FRANK: To pick up cute girls, they like tight swim shorts on guys like us.
OLLIE: Great! I like cute girls.
FRANK: Here, put this potato in your speedos to pick up the cutest girls. They will...

I was asked to leave the local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my Speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers.

I pointed out another guy in similar trunks and asked why he was not being asked to leave.

“Because he hasn’t shat himself,” was the reply.

Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole, but was never able to attract the girls.

He decided to ask his friend Billy Bob for advice. Billy Bob explains, "It's those baggy swim shorts that make you look like an old fool. They're years out of style. Bubba, grab yourself a pair of Speedos, about two sizes too little and drop a fist-sized Tater down inside them. I'm tellin' 'ya man y...

A man and his friend were talking about their New Year's Resolutions.

Friend: I heard you set some really tough resolutions, have you completed them?


Man: Well of course! I've swam across the Pacific Ocean in only speedos.


Friend: Neat.


Man: Scaled Mount Everest naked!


Friend, a bit skeptical: Really?


Man: Well, t...

Chick magnet

Sam was a simple fellow, socially awkward, not very attractive, but he had high hopes for meeting girls on his long-awaited Florida vacation. Every day, he went to the beach in hopes of meeting someone special, but every day he was disappointed because all the girls seemed to hang around one certain...

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